The Perspective of Life From My Side of Window

Welcome, 2012!

2012-01-01T02:28:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year, people!

Wow, another year has gone and another year coming in. While I don't think time flew any faster than it already did, I'm glad to see 2011 finally drawing its curtains down.

No retrospective post this year because honestly, I do not have the energy to recap the big and small details of my 2011. Also, 2011 wasn't particularly an exciting year for me. Ups and downs, disappointment, weariness, spiritual rejuvenation and hopes basically summarize my year. If that makes sense.

No New Year resolutions either. Only one. To get my straight As for A-level and fly to my choice of university in September under Shell. Yeah, that's hardly a resolution. That's more like a life-and-death matter to me if I don't fulfill it. Education-wise.

To 2012, I welcome you with a hopeful heart. Hopeful that you will be a year where I will have the chance to get things right. The year that will make me stronger in dealing with the challenges ahead. Basically, be the year that won't make me fall flat in the face.

Here's to another year! May God bless you, always :)

Di Meja Yang Sama

2011-12-21T23:11:00.000+08:00

Not really in the mood to blog properly, sorrryyy. But I shall leave you with this poem I wrote in Malay language. It was for this small publication, KATA-KATA and was published somewhere in July '11. Based on a true setting. Semoga tiada yang terasa hati ;)

DI MEJA YANG SAMA

Penuh meja makan tengahari itu,

Biasanya geng yang sama selalu,

Duduk makan dan berborak,

Kekadang hura hara bunyinya,

Penuh sindiran dan gelak tawa,

Paras muka setiap seorang tak banyak beza,

Tapi selebihnya,

Hanya mereka yang di meja itu akan tahu.

Di kananku,

Biasanya yang lembut pertuturan,

Solat lima waktu pun jarang ketinggalan,

Mudah dipercayai dan diharapkan,

Di kiriku,

Biasanya yang lepas percakapan,

Solat lima waktu pun tunggang langgang,

Memang susah hendak buat ditumpang.

Ideologi yang di kiri dan di kanan sering bercanggah,

Diskusi sering kali naik amarah,

Tapi tak lah sampai parah berdarah,

Hanya idea dan kata-kata jadi senjata.

Tengahari itu sambil makan nasi berlauk daging halia,

Yang di kiri sibuk berborak tentang minggu mereka,

Changkat Bukit Bintang, Vodka dan Malboro sini sana,

Yang di kanan menyuap sambil mendengar,

Senyum dan gelak bila perlu,

Jika tidak senyap tegar.

Hakikatnya,

Yang di kiri dan di kanan memang tak akan bertemu,

Di meja itu jarang bertemu ruas dan buku,

Tapi kawan tetap kawan,

Walaupun kekadang berlawan,

Perbezaan lebih dari persamaan,

Namun tak bermaksud perlu bermusuhan.

Tengahari itu berakhir dengan jenaka lawak tentang

si Helmi yang lupa mandi pagi,

Dan seorang demi seorang bangun meninggalkan meja,

Yang di kanan belok ke kiri hendak ke surau untuk Zuhur,

Yang di kiri belok ke kanan hendak ke bilik sambung tidur.

Kita bertemu lagi di meja sama tengahari esok.

Soldier On

2011-10-19T20:54:00.007+08:00

Been away for quite some time from this space huh? Apologies, been busy trying to figure things out. After my less-than-stellar AS results in August, it has forced me to consider and reconsider my options as well as my future plans.

When I first came to KY, I was an enthusiastic dreamer. This place gives you power to dream big. Great facilities, experienced teaching staff, brilliant college mates that are willing to help you if you need them, minimal distraction from the outside world and an impressive track record of former students going on to do amazing stuff at university and afterwards.

Ask any fresh KY students where would they want to go after A-level and many would have Oxford, Cambridge, LSE, Imperial etc on their lists. Many aspire to get good grades and offers from these top universities. After all, that's what most of us are here for in the first place.

But as months and semesters passed by in this college, you would be forced to reflect back on your course and university choices. If you thought you've always wanted to be a doctor since you were 6 years old, you'll be surprised how that plan will change into something very different when you're here. And if you've always wanted to go to Cambridge to do Law or Medicine, well, be prepared to face the fact that you might not be good enough for it.

Having said that, it shouldn't deter any of us from dreaming big and working towards that dream. But have a reality check from time to time, just to see where you are and what are you really worthy of. Should you come upon a stumbling block while you're here, don't be disheartened just yet. Take deep breaths, step back and look at the bigger picture. Seek help and advice from your seniors and teachers. Teachers, especially. They've seen things like this happen year in, year out so they should know what's the best advice to give you. Some may be harsher by dissecting your plans and show you what are possible and what are not. But trust me, you would need that.

God knows how many hitches I've been through this semester, especially with my university application. AS results la, switching courses and university choices just because my sponsor wouldn't allow my initial ones which then led me to rewriting my Personal Statement and researching more on the 'approved' universities. Yes, the path has slightly been altered and narrowed, but I try to keep it close to myself as much as possible. So, I could still say the path is 'mine'. Three-forth of my initial choices are still on my list and I'm still doing Economics despite other people advising me to abandon it.

And time really flies too over here! Third semester is already coming to an end in a few weeks' time and we'll be entering our final semester very soon. The 'fun' part in KY is largely gone by now. It's all about striving and studying harder while hoping for good offers. Chats with friends in the first two semesters on where we dream to study or what we would do over our summer breaks had been watered down to worries of whether or not we would get offers from these universities. Grey hair were also beginning to find their place on our heads!

I don't know what's coming ahead but all I know is things will get tougher and I've to work so much harder. There are times when I feel so overwhelmed and worried about the uncertain future. Gotta keep reminding myself to 'soldier on'. I'm lucky I've parents who won't stop believing in me and that helps, really.

Come to KY but come with a strong heart. Because this place is not for the faint-hearted.

The Bangsawan Experience

2011-07-31T18:30:00.009+08:00

They say apart from Samurai Night, you are not a true KYUEM-ian if you have not experienced Bangsawan Night. And after last night's Bangsawan I can assure you there is great truth behind those words.

We only had 3 weeks to prepare for our stage performance for the big night and well, let's just say it wasn't easy...AT ALL. Practices ran everyday from 4.30pm to 6.30pm and later at night up to 10.30pm. For the past 3 weeks, I don't think any of us could manage to sleep before 2am while we tried to keep up with our classwork and readings despite the exhaustion after long hours of practices. Teachers were getting slightly weary of our sleepy heads in classes too.

But I think we had an amazing time going through the Bangsawan journey. We got to bond with the other House members and it's the perfect timing to get to know the newly-arrived Batch 14 juniors better. We got to see our friends unleashed talents and creativity we never thought they had. And we learned the essential elements that make up who we really are, as part of the House and the college; teamwork, patience, perseverance, good sense of humour, competitive spirit, the drive to have fun and enjoy the things we do.

Topaz's drama was called 'Titisan Darah Sukma' directed by Yasmin with Keri as the Sultan, Qistina as the Queen, myself as the evil, bitchy second Queen and a few others, Megat, Nadeem and Adib. We had our own interpretation of the characters and I think we did a fairly impressive job in trying to portray each character. What made it even more special was the presence of our superseniors who were willing to come all the way back to KY to watch our rehearsals and give feedbacks where necessary and heightened our spirit just in time for the night.

We had past Bangsawan directors from Batch 10, Batch 11 and Batch 12 coming in and giving tips on how to improve our performance. On how to do 'stage blocking', the best make-up for the character, voice projection etc. Knowing that we had the support from these seniors, it was enough of an assurance that we'll be alright that night.

The pressure was on us to win again this year's Bangsawan after Topaz's victory in winning it for 3 consecutive years. And so, last night, we did stretch the winning streak to 4 times in a row with the Best Director (Yasmin), Best Choreography (Fathin was in-charged) and the Best Villain (yours truly, hehe) awards under our belt too. Syukur :)

Others might question our winnings but the thing I've learned about Topaz after being with them for a year is that we do not seek for victory every time we get involved in college events or competitions. Rather, we seek the enjoyment and satisfaction that we will get out of the process of reaching the end. We were always reminded by our seniors that our niat or intentions have to be sincere in everything we do. Not to seek glory and flaunt it to others but to do the opposite; to celebrate what we have achieved with our hardwork and to remain humble with each achievement.

And as the present seniors, it is now our duty to remind our juniors of the same thing. I find that Topaz has practiced 'tried and tested' formula in the way we handle a lot of the things because we take after past leaderships of the House. But at the same time, each Batch will add their own flavour and improve from there onwards.

Looking back at last night, I honestly did think each House put up an amazing performance. Didn't get to see Garnet's but my parents who were present in the audience thought Garnet's drama was entertaining to watch. I loved Diamond's beautiful, majestic-looking props as well as the feisty characters and plot they portrayed. I saluted Sapphire for personifying the strength of women in their drama and the characters' scrupulous abilities.

Those who have gone through the whole Bangsawan journey, I think you would know by now why you felt like a true KYUEM-ian after it all ended. 'Nuff said :)

Photos should be coming up sooner or later. All I have now is this photo of Topaz's Singgahsana scene taken from Almaz's Facebook.

Some Updates

2011-07-19T00:06:00.003+08:00

Hi! One week plus back in KY and I'm already sooo exhausted, it has truly been a long week. Homework, readings, Personal Statement and university application process, Bangsawan rehearsals etc. Phewww!

But I'm having a lot of fun doing all these (perhaps, not so on the homework) though it can be very taxing at times. And I'm having a writer's block with my Personal Statement right now. Got some rough ideas written down but stringing them together into proper, personal sentences; ughh, not so easy. My dateline is this Thursday, by the way. UH OH.

Bangsawan practice is in full-swing, day and night with just 2 more weeks to go. Tonight, for some reason we were in a very lively, wacky mood. Even the most serious of lines turned into laughing banters among the cast members. Gelak sampai berguling atas lantai. Literally ROFL! But everyone's so semangat for this 30th July and we're having a good time bonding with the rest of the House members, too.

Yeaahh, so anyway I've a PS to write and well, it's not going to write itself. Therefore I should get back to it and we'll speak soon, okay.

Toodles! :)

Umrah: The Way I Story It

2011-07-09T01:27:00.007+08:00

"Labbaika Allahuma Labbaik, Labbaika La Shareeka Laka Labaik. Innal Hamdah, Wan-Ni'manatah, Laka Wal Mulk, La Shareeka Laka"
Here I am at Thy service, Oh Lord, here I am. Here I am at Thy Service, and Thou hast no partners. Thine alone is All Praise and All Bounty, and Thine Alone is The Sovereignty. Thou hast no partners.

MADINAH

We landed in Jeddah and got on a 6-hour bus trip to Medinah, all weary but still in high-spirits. I just loved Nabawi Mosque which was just beside our hotel. It was always immensely crowded particularly during praying hours but for some reason, there was a deep sense of serenity and tranquility about the place. I could pray at the mosque with thousands of other women, read the Quran, do a little bit of ibadah sunat and still felt rejuvenated afterwards.

The thought of being in the same building as the Prophet Muhammad's body (he's buried in the original part of the mosque) is quite a compelling thought, a chance that not all Muslims would have and I am eternally grateful for the experience. In front of the mosque's gates, there would be street vendors selling a variety of stuff after every fardhu prayers. Jubahs, rosary beads, scarves, prayer mats etc. so Ibu and I couldn't help but to sneak in a buy or two every time we went back to our hotel from the mosque ;)

But the heat, Subhanallah. Let's just way I'm very thankful for the sunblock, moisturizer and my sunnies. After a few days in Madinah, we went to Bir Ali Mosque for our miqat and to set our niat for our first Umrah in Mecca that was about to come.

In KLIA before departure

Directly beneath the green dome is where Prophet Muhammad is being laid to rest in Nabawi Mosque

Our Mutawwif (tour guide) during the mosque tour

At Quba' Mosque, the first mosque ever built in Islam

Jabal Uhud, where the infamous Battle of Uhud was being fought

MECCA

It took us about 90 minutes to reach Mecca by bus from Madinah. Reached the city at around 11pm, freshened up at the hotel a bit and found our way to Masjidil Haram, the home of the Kaabah which was just right in front of our hotel. That moment when I walked into the mosque and saw Kaabah for the first time, that was quite a powerful and miraculous moment.

It was definitely breathtaking especially with sights of people still doing their tawaf around the Kaabah even if it was close to midnight. We preceded with our Umrah starting with the tawaf around Kaabah for 7 rounds and then Saie, walking between Safa and Marwah for 7 times too, back and forth. That was quite a journey, phew! Penat oohhh sesangatnya. And ended it with Tahallul which was done by cutting few strands of the hair to mark the end of the Umrah ritual.

Mecca is truly a city that never sleeps. People were doing their worshiping rituals at all hours, day and night. And there's just something about the Kaabah that makes it so stunning and calming even just to look at it. Physically, it's just a big black box but it has such effects on the pilgrims. The place could reduce you to tears, make you look at your ugly sins in retrospective, fill your heart with peace and a sense of awakening from deep within. But only if you fully internalized and appreciated the whole journey right from the beginning.

I love Masjidil Haram not only because of the Kaabah and the infinite benefits of the prayers there (every ibadah done in the Al-Haram area is one hundred thousand times more the pahala compared to elsewhere while Madinah's is one thousand times more) but also because of the people and the stories they tell.

In one corner you could see a father sitting in a circle with 3 of his young sons and teaching them how to read the Quran. In another corner you could see a mother playfully tickling her baby daughter and making jokes with her while waiting for the Zuhur azan to come. In front of the Kaabah, you could see men and women kneeling on their knees after their prayers, crying their hearts out to Allah while they put up their hands for doas. Some were begging for the Almighty's forgiveness, some were asking Allah if He would grant their wishes and dreams while others get teary just at the thought of God's greatness and miraculous power.

If a professional photographer could capture these beautiful moments in photos, oh how amazing they would be. I think that would be one of my dreams in the future, to initiate a photography series of Madinah and Mecca. So many stories to be told and moments to be shared!

Though I'd have to say the biggest challenge wasn't so much of the weather and the exhaustion but the people. Some Muslims who came to the Holy Land as Allah's guests could be pretty ill-mannered and how saddening, that was. I had been pushed and shoved a hundred different ways while I was in Masjidil Haram and Nabawi Mosque just because some of them couldn't be a little more patient and just wanted things to go their way. Sigh, selfish much?

Others would just throw their rubbish everywhere without any remorse even in the mosque, the place considered to be Allah's home. Good thing there were cleaners all around to clean up after their mess otherwise Masjidil Haram wouldn't be such a comfortable place for our prayers.

Saying goodbye to Mecca wasn't easy either. My heart swelled with despair and sorrow at the thought of leaving the place that gave me the chance to get closer to my Creator and find my peace. Before leaving the city, it's a must for all pilgrims to do Tawaf Wada' (farewell tawaf) and the doa being read really tugged my heartstrings.

"Ya Allah ya Tuhanku. Janganlah dijadikan tawaf dan ziarah hambamu ini sebagai kali yang penghabisan di Baitullah. Jika sekiranya ditakdirkan menjadi kali yang akhir maka hamba pohonkan syurga sebagai gantinya dengan kemurahan Engkau ya Tuhan Yang Maha Pemurah lagi Penyayang"

Ya Allah, Oh my Lord. Let this tawaf and visit not be your servant's last time in Baitullah. And if it was destined to be the last time then I seek that you grant me Heaven as the replacement through your generousity, Oh Lord, The Most Gracious and The Most Merciful.

The spiritual retreat had been a great one and my last prayer before I left the place was for Allah to accept the ibadah I did in the name of Him and for me to be given the chance to come back to this Holy Land.

We shall meet again with a renewed self and reaffirmed faith, Insyaallah.

The majestic Masjidil Haram

Our hotel that also had floors of shopping malls. Sakan shopping!

On a camel ride

With Ibu at Jabal Nur

The Kaabah in the afternoon

The Kaabah just before Maghrib came

Dinner at a seafood restaurant with a Malay family who has been living in Mecca almost all their lives

Home-cooked dinner at Aunty Sharifah's house

Self portrait in front of the Kaabah

Afternoon chaos in front of the hotel as everyone prepared to return home

Jeddah's Red Sea

Jeddah became our brief pitstop before we headed home

More photos on FB! :)

Monologue with God

2011-06-25T01:13:00.006+08:00

Ya Allah,

I'll be leaving for Umrah for the first time today,

Making my way to Your Holy Land,

With my parents, I hope everything will run smoothly.

Ya Allah,

I'm coming to You as Your humbled guest,

Each step I take today is a step closer to You,

There will be challenges ahead I'm sure,

But I pray to you Ya Allah,

I pray that You will bless me with enough patience, perseverance, humility, selflessness and piety,

Enough of those to get me through this journey.

Ya Allah,

Let this spiritual retreat be one that will make You forgive my ugly sins,

The one that will make me a better Muslim,

The one that will make me stronger; physically, emotionally, spiritually,

The one that will make me a better person, all around.

Ya Allah,

I'm coming to You,

With pure intention and prayers,

So I pray to You that you will bless my family's journey,

Let us go to Your Holy Land and come back safely,

For our return will be flourished with new vigour and passion,

As we continue to sow the seeds of good deeds in the name of you, Ya Allah.

Insyaallah.

A Class Above

2011-06-18T18:40:00.005+08:00

Was at Petronas Twin Towers earlier for an interview with one of the largest management consulting firms in the world for their leadership internship programme. Can I just say the firm is one of the best, most open and friendly organizations I've encountered (in my very narrow experience)? Really. The people there were graduates of Cambridge, UPenn, LSE, Columbia etc with various backgrounds but they were very humbled people and conversed with us, the candidates in a very casual, welcoming manner. No traces of arrogance whatsoever despite their remarkable credentials and positions.

My interviewer was an equally charming, friendly guy and our session was like a casual conversation between friends. We talked about some easygoing stuff; our love for squash, about Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, his lifestyle at the firm, where's KYUEM (a must question!) etc. On a more serious level, I was questioned about my aspirations in my chosen field for the programme and the plans I have in bringing Malaysia forward in the field.

I chose social entrepreneurship but more specifically youth social entrepreneurship. Why youth? Because I do think a lot of the time people undermine what the youths are capable of and we're not being given the right chances to prove ourselves. Managed to come up with a plan and I coined it as 'Learn, Connect and Sustain' project. More on that later if anything concrete comes out of it :)

That was probably one of the best interviews I've had. Not only because it was with one of the most prestigious firms around but because of the people and the environment it offered. I was impressed and inspired just by reading the firm's official website and the people I met today affirmed the good impression I had of them.

Would LOVE to start my career after university at this place. The people, the working environment & lifestyle, the office are just a class above. Every project, every client, every challenge they meet is a new learning curve and the firm is definitely the place to learn and grow as a person.

Now, let's hope something good will come out of the interview.

24 Years of the Knot

2011-06-14T20:01:00.007+08:00

My parents mark their 24th wedding anniversary today. I believe a big CONGRATULATIONS is in order! They plan to go out on a date at a Japanese fine dining restaurant, Fukuya somewhere in KL and I'm away in KY on my last week so I can't possibly join them. They would probably love it that way.

I like what my mum wrote on her blog about her marriage after 24 years:

"We are like two opposite poles. He likes football, I like the net. I think what keeps us together for so long is the space we give to each other and the respect for each other's individuality: that we can be who we wanna be without expecting the other to change us."

And that's true. They are poles apart at times but it's funny to watch them when they are at loggerheads with each other. I think the other part that keeps them together after so long is their ability to poke fun at each other and still laugh silly at themselves. They become one another's best friends and unrivaled bickering partners.

To Ibu and Papa, may you have another 24 years to come together as a couple and thank you for becoming great role models to me. Whenever I walk into my marriage one day, I would make sure I have one that would last as long as yours or possibly longer, Insyaallah.

Manja-manja together :)

Half the Battle

2011-05-28T01:38:00.003+08:00

AS EXAMS SUDAH HABIS!

Wheww, what a month it was! SPM month might have been longer with more exam papers (20+ papers) but it was nothing compared to this AS month. I only had 3 weeks of exams, with gaps in between and at most, 7 papers. But the exhaustion, the stress, the anxiety; nothing like what I'd been through before this. I remember after sitting for my 3-hour History paper, I felt like I just finished running a marathon, literally so. When I put the last full stop after the last sentence and dropped my pen at the end of the 3 hours, I held my head back, closed my eyes and took a really deep breath. And let it go. Just to be sure I was still alive. I was, thank God!

There were days when sleeps did not come easy even after long hours of studying. Perfect example of the body being physically exhausted but the mind was still in overdrive. That's the worst feeling ever, I tell ya. You wanted to drop dead asleep on the bed but you just can't. The mind kept whirring and churning, sometimes with unnecessary thoughts. A friend even said, he couldn't sleep even at 4 in the morning and his mind started making up its own Biology questions. Haha yes, it could be THAT bad.

But then again, the exam month wasn't all that bad, to be honest. It even brought some of us closer together because being away in a residential college like KY, your friends (apart from parents, teachers etc) become one of your strongest support systems. Study groups work best in KY especially for subjects like Economics and History. We had countless History discussions, did plenty of essay plans and sometimes, our own self-taught classes among ourselves.

And no, the discussions weren't all dry and studies-related only. We did stray away from the books from time to time, just to keep ourselves sane. Silly jokes, laughters, gossip reigned the table in between our 'breaks' or when someone had something nonsensical to say.

The trick to surviving in this place is to choose the right circle of friends. Friends who are not only able to make you laugh or those you sit with during lunch or dinner but friends who you could run to in times of need, whatever the problem may be. For example, my friends whom I have classes, tennis and meals with are also the same people who are my study buddies, the ones that could explain to me what does terms of trade mean or whether the reasons behind imperialism was more aggressive than defensive.

And they're amazing people. It is never about competition among us; of who can score higher marks or get more As. No, in fact we got excited for the other if he/she did score higher marks or such. I've friends who I could reach to in the middle of the night just to ask an Economics question, snapped a photo of the question and sent it to him via Whatsapp and got a speedy, precise response in return. KY has a very positive, helpful student body and it's really up to you whether you want to be a part of it, make full use of the advantage or otherwise.

So yes, half the battle has been fought. Another year to go and this one shall not get any easier. A2 year, I think that's when the real deal begins.

Not exactly looking forward to it but it's time to mentally prepare for it. The other half of the battle is just about to get even more ruthless.

After A Year

2011-05-24T12:24:00.006+08:00

Today marks my 1st year of wearing the Hijab. I never knew I would last this long but Alhamdulillah :)

It all started with a twist of fate. Followed by a subtle shock to the system. Then an embrace in the heart. After awhile, a change from deep within. And finally, you move on. Like it was just any other day.

To be honest, if it wasn't because I had gone to IIUM in the first place, I would probably still remain Hijab-less. Trotting around in my summer dresses or plunging neckline shirts. Hence, like I said, it all started with a twist of fate. A blessing in disguise even though the decision to wear it came all of a sudden with my admittance into IIUM.

I was still getting used to the new look. Frankly speaking, it wasn't easy. I had to change my wardrobe (a good reason to go shopping though!), figure out which Hijab style suit me best, at the same time having doubts whether I made the right decision or not. There were days when I missed looking at the old me. The one who could wear whatever I wanted, getting the hair blown by the windy air and those summer dresses that I loved were still kept inside my wardrobe. I still played dress-ups with those dresses in front of the mirror. On my own, of course. It got worst when I was having a good hair day but I can't seem to walk around outside with it.

I think it's perfectly normal to feel that way especially if you just started wearing it. It was after all, a subtle shock to the system. You cope with it in different ways. Though I felt the best decision I ever made was not when I first decided to wear the Hijab in IIUM.

Instead, the best decision I made was when I decided to continue wearing it even after I have left IIUM for good. The initial reason I wore it was because of the university's requirement then the second reason to continue wearing it was because it didn't feel right to only wear it inside the university compound and take it off elsewhere. But when I left IIUM, I wasn't tied to the initial reason anymore therefore was free from the second reason as well. I could easily un-don the Hijab if I wanted to.

But I didn't.

Because by then I already embraced it in my heart. I finally got my niat right. Now, I'm wearing it not because of some official requirement or rules but because I want to. I do it for myself but most importantly, I do it for Allah, too. He has given me so much in the past years that it is only fair of me to realize how blessed I've been and walk on the path to become a better Muslim.

The path hasn't ended, though. I've a long way to go. There is plenty of room for improvements for me. From the clothes I wear to my words and actions to my niat and obligations. I can only hope this first year of wearing the Hijab also marks a better me.

I'm here now. And I'm here to stay.

Boo yaaa! :)

Turning 19

2011-05-11T00:49:00.000+08:00

I'm 19 today. Reaching final year of teenagehood. Honest to goodness, I feel OLD! But it has a nice feeling to it. The feeling of hitting another milestone in my life, knowing that my past 19 years hadn't been a complete waste of time.

I wasn't too excited about my birthday this year compared to the years before. Probably because I'm the midst of my exams (had Psychology paper on the same day. How sucky was that?!) but 19 is quite a number, isn't it?

I'm trying to sound all meaningful and melancholic about this birthday post but mehh, failing miserably. It had been a long day for me. Had AS exams, classes and homework, played tennis, 2 hours of History night class and discussions, socialising with college friends throughout the day. I felt like a 'super student' today. But the best part was when, as we were all coming down the stairs after our History class, I saw a group of people in the dimness of the night and they suddenly burst into a 'Happy Birthday' song.

It was a birthday surprise for me and Dylan, who had her birthday on the same day. They surprised us with two boxes of Wondermilk cupcakes and then everyone just lingered around, enjoying the cupcakes and chit-chatting. Such a wonderful gesture by these people considering that it's the exam season and they were probably busy studying in their chalets or the RC before this. Thank you, guys. I was touched :)

Coming back to my failed deep, thoughful post on turning 19, all I've to say is another year has passed. A year older now, hopefully a year wiser, too. What does it feel like being 19? I don't know, it has only been a day. I'll get back to you on that.

My one birthday wish on this 19th year is that Allah will give me enough strength and patience as I weave my way through getting where I want to be. I'm only 19 but I've plenty of big dreams of my own and of other things, too. This is only the beginning of everything.

Yeaahh, I'm rambling. I should really go to bed now. Zzzzz.

Thank you Allah for the past amazing 19 years. I had a great day turning 19.

Here's to more years to come. So many more, hopefully. Cheers! :)

P/S Also, read this amusing, quirky birthday post by my Mum. Made me tear up a little when reading it. Enjoy.

Beach Life

2011-04-30T01:25:00.005+08:00

So, trials were over and done with. But AS is coming up in another one week. Next Monday! OMG, THIS IS SCARY.

But anyway, I thought I'd fill you in with what happened after trials. Housetrip! All houses had their Housetrips on the same weekend after trials with Diamond in Pulau Perhentian, Garnet in Pulau Pangkor, Sapphire in Pulau Pinang while Topaz went to Kuantan. Yeah, yeah Kuantan may not be the most beautiful place to be in but surprisingly, we had a fab time at our Housetrip. With comfy hotel rooms (Swiss Garden Resort & Spa), elaborate breakfast and dinner buffets, the white sandy beach being few steps away from our rooms, what's not to love, right?

I've seen how hard the committee worked in making it happen. They had some major obstacles along the way from changes in locations to shortages of funds to last minute pull-outs from the House members. It was no easy task but I think they did a tremendous job in pulling this off. At the end of the day, we enjoyed ourselves and rejoiced in the company of fellow Topazians who came along. So, great job! :)

Okay, photos. In no particular order. Enjoyyyy.

The hotel we stayed in for 3 days and 2 nights

In my beach attire

Megat, Zehan, Me and Dora in front of Teluk Cempedak beach

Dancing by the bonfire with Alippp

Sunrise overlooking the horizon

The guys trying to make out the word 'TOPAZ', I guess?

Roommates for the trip in our hotel room

Trying to be Yuna with the guitar while crooning out 'Deeper Conversation' by the beach

With the lovely captains of Topaz, Megat and Zehan

The night of our arrival

Our 'Ala E wa' league

The guys pretended to chase after 'Yuna' when it was actually...me

The Topazian family

Here's a couple of photos unrelated to the Housetrip but got them from Megat's camera anyway.

I love this photo! We look like a group of young, aspiring students kan? Hehe.

And the winning Phoenix kite that helped Topaz garnered first place in last week's Kite Making Competition

Exam Season

2011-04-01T01:05:00.005+08:00

Arrghhh, it's the exam season again!! I've two weeks of trials next week and 3 weeks after that comes one month of AS exams. With classes still going on as usual on days without exams.

It's like SPM all over again. You have 1 year to cram for it, do endless past year papers, get all stressed up, go through jitters of the exam season and at the end of the day, you sit for the same exams taken by 100, 000++ students all over. Except that this time is even more intense. So much more.

You sit for exams set by University of Cambridge with the other thousands of A-level students all over the world. You have more pages of essays to write, harder mathematical equations to solve and deeper thoughts to delve into. And if you falter badly, you'll miss your next plane to UK or where ever you're planning to go. In other words, you won't be able to get into the choice of your university. Scary, no? Very!

I've been prepping myself for the upcoming trials and AS exams and well, even with trials being few days away, I don't really feel the jitters yet. I think it's the fact that my teachers are so laid-back about them. They don't believe in getting so stressed up over some mock papers when our real aim should be the AS exams and eventually the A2 exams. My History teacher made this clear to us, "Quite frankly I don't care what you score for your trials. I wouldn't look at it but rather evaluate you based on your performances through out the 2 semesters you had." And of them even said, "Trial exams are part of learning. If you want to make a mess, make it now!" Ahh, how can you not love them :)

It doesn't mean we're going to take our trials lightly but we'll do the most we can and improve from there. So I'm free to make my mess this time. Hopefully it'll be a beautiful mess though. If you know what I mean.

But exams are still exams. That means less play time for me till they're all over in June. So do expect very few updates on here till I'm done.

Here's to another round of the exam season. Cheers!

Of Romantic Wedding and Reunion of Friendships

2011-03-13T02:40:00.010+08:00

I've always loved fairy tale weddings and sweet romances. You know, those stuff that make you all gooey and warm-hearted in the inside. Hanna's elder sister, Lina got married on Saturday to her long-time boyfriend, Zakwan whom she met while studying in France few years back. Some of us were fortunate enough to be invited and boyy, did we have a ball of a time at the wedding.

The setting was beautiful. It was a fusion of garden & Greek-themed wedding, in a way. The bride was certainly dressed like a gorgeous Greek goddess in her white dress with a trail that flowed effortlessly on the floor. Fresh flowers adorned the tables and around the house, too. And soft hues of lights lit up the place with the guests dressing up to their nines as well.

I loved how the performances were not by some invited artists or celebrities but by their own family members. Hanna's big and small cousins, younger brother, aunty and even her pregnant sister-in-law took the stage to entertain us with their renditions of love songs. An intimate affair, it was.

Though I've to say the table with the DJ-ian peeps was probably the noisiest, most kecoh table of the night. It's been awhile since we last saw each other so there were lots of stories, jokes and excitement to be shared with. But that's just how we are when we get together in a big group. I've always thought I pumped up a muscle or two in the stomach every time I met them. So much laughing went on! Hehehe.

I've known Lina ever since I was friends with Hanna about 6 years ago. She had always been the sweet, pretty older sister though we hardly saw much of her since she was away in France to do her studies. Tonight, when she came to our table to greet us, she said, "Dah lain dah muka-muka kat meja ni." (The faces on this table are different now.) Haha indeed, it's been 6 years anyway. She's different too. More beautiful and demure-looking with her own fresh career at Accenture and now, being newly (and happily) married to Zakwan.

Congratulations, Lina and Zakwan! May your love grow even stronger from here onwards and may your future be even more wonderful than you ever dreamed possible :)

Us girls at the wedding. Left to right: Anis, Hanna, Syira, Alia, Me, Shiqin

Salwa, the sister-in-law performing a song while accompanied by the brother-in-law's strums of guitar

The setting of the wedding

Group shot with the bride and the groom

With Alia and Anis. I felt tall. Must be the heels. Hehe.

The Greek goddess of the night with her groom and sister

Blown away! With Alia and Shiqin

The compulsory 'Vogue' pose with Hanna Banana

Polaroid shots were taken of the guests and we could write congratulatory notes to the couple and hang them together on a tree. So adorable!

Seni Seviyorum, Turkiye

2011-03-05T18:59:00.007+08:00

When one of my former Turkish tutors, Isil texted me if I was interested to help with the Turkish Language Olympics booth at the Turkish Cultural Carnival, I immediately said Yes! I've not seen any of them for a very long time and was looking forward to this encounter again.

The Carnival wasn't only on the Turkish culture but we had people from South Korea, Poland, Turkmenistan, Indonesia, Egypt etc coming over and setting up their own booths there. And the foods on sale made my mouth water and made my appetite turned into a hungry monster.

I had the chance to meet my former tutors, Sumeyra and Isil and their other friends. Met the other Malaysian participants of the Olympics, the batches after me (2008). And the kids who were there were soooooo adorable! I felt like kidnapping one home. The handsome guys, too. Hehehe.

I realized how much I missed Turkey. The beautiful people, the delicious food, the resplendent views of the country. I had an 'American Dream' and I also had a 'Turkish Dream'. My mum would probably kill me for saying this but I dream to marry a handsome, hunky Turkish man, move to Istanbul and have pretty Turkish babies together. Yayyerr =p

Turkey, I will come and visit you again. One fine day. Gorusuruz, Turkiye!

With Sumeyra and Isil, the lovely Turkish ladies who taught me how to speak the language.

A few of the adorable kids who were there. Turkish, Polish and African little boys.

At the Turkish booth

With the girls from Kazakhstan (or was it Turkmenistan)

Musical tribute to Kazakhstan

Ahh, once upon a time ago. The poster from 2008

Keeping in Touch with The Debate World

2011-02-20T23:35:00.003+08:00

Debating is one of those things that I've dabbled in for quite some time and have a pretty fair fraction of love for it. It has been awhile though since my last proper debate tournament, the last one being the Datuk Wira championship in 2008. The internal debate league between the four Houses here in KY hardly counts though I'm very much involved with the Debate Club.

We decided to send a team to the UiTM National Novice Debate 2011 this weekend and Yaya, Tariq & Rayhan were the debaters while I came in as an adjudicator. We did pretty well with 3 wins out of the 5 preliminary rounds but it wasn't enough for us to break into the octofinals. With 80+ teams participating from various public universities and private colleges, the debates were pretty intense considering the fact that we were all novices.

Coming in as an adjudicator was something new altogether for me. When you signed up as an adjudicator for this tournament, you either become a trainee, a penalist or a 'Supreme Adjudicator'. Despite my zero adjudicating experience, I was put as one of the penalists probably due to my debating experience before this and adjudicated all 5 preliminary rounds. As an adjudicator, I got to see the bigger picture of the motion by hearing views from both sides. But there came a time where the clashes were head-on and the arguments were either messy or strong on both sides that it became hard to decide on the winning team.

In one of the rounds, I was put together with the Chief Adjudicator of the tournament and one of the seasoned debaters to adjudicate the debate between IIUM and KLIUC (if I wasn't mistaken). Talk about the big guns yaww! I did feel intimidated sitting in the same room with these people but I think I managed to pull through alive. Hehehe. My favourite round was the last preliminary round where I was promoted to become the 'Chair Adjudicator' and the motion was about setting a minimum wage in Malaysia. Yes, minimum wage was one of the sub-topics in AS Economics. Mr Conquest's Economics lessons came pouring in that time. Thank youuu, Mr Conquest!

Saw plenty of familiar faces at the tournament. There were the debaters and trainers whom I used to work with in IIUM and the debaters whom we used to go against in secondary school tournaments. These former secondary school debaters either grew taller or fatter (oopps!) but definitely more polished. Familiar faces from SMKDJ were there too; Keefe, Sophia, Abhi, Elena, Leannza, Siew Sanz, Marc etc those people whom I used to see everyday in school but not anymore.

Ohh, and the Grand Finals was between Sophia's team (HELP College) vs Keefe's team (Sunway College). 4 out of 6 debaters of the Grand Finals were from SMKDJ. How cool was that?! Ahh, DJ debaters. The debate trainings and experience we had back that in school still followed through all the way till now. Sophia's team ended up winning the tournament and all of them were on the Top 10 list of Best Speakers.

This weekend had been a very exhausting yet a great one. Put on new (adjudicating) shoes, bonded with KY's debate team and Ms Rena, met new people and familiar faces, rejoiced with former schoolmates and found out how much of a massive maze UiTM Shah Alam was. I am not as passionate and enthusiastic about debating as some other hardcore debaters but I would never want to be disconnected from the debating world. This weekend was a good way to keep in touch with the world and its people.

Till then, I guess it's back to the books.

First Day Back in College

2011-01-11T23:46:00.007+08:00

I'm back in KY! After six blissful weeks of holiday. It's a new semester, one of the most important one, AS semester. I foresee a very busy, stressful 6 months ahead of me. Ughh.

Having said that, I had a good first day back in college! Today was what I would describe as my 'ideal KY day'. Lemme just walk you through it.

Woke up at 7.20am, bathed in the ridiculously cold shower and had a simple breakfast cereal in my chalet. And then headed over for the 8.15am classes, saying Hello to friends that I've not met in 6 weeks along the way. The classes were relatively relaxing today as we were just warming up to the new semester. But Mr Brookes decided to surprise us with a pop quiz on World War 1 based on the readings we were supposed to do during the holidays. Ohh yeaahhh, what a surprise! Mehh.

Classes ended at 4.10pm and I took the leisure to catch up with other friends and approached the new batch of students who just arrived today (Batch 13.5). They're a nice, friendly lot. Welcome to the family, by the way! Kicking back while chit-chatting with the chaletmates back in our chalet after classes felt good since we rarely got to do it together. Then we decided to go for a swim and oohhh, I just looooveee the feeling of being in the water. It's like dissolving my exhaustion and weariness together with the water after a long day. If only the KY pool water was cleaner.

Dinner with the buddies at the Dining Hall and then we headed over to the RC (our library) to do some homework or revision. This was also one of the best parts of the day. You get to do your work and socialize with your peeps at the same time. And if I ever got stuck with a question, there were always smartie pants lying around the RC that I could run to for help. Hehe awesome kan?

Usually after RC, we would go for a quick drink at the cafe and the chit-chats will continue there with louder laughters and even more lame, nonsensical jokes. We'll head back to our chalets, either wrap up the day and say goodnight or continue with some work till we have no ounce of energy left in us. I chose to finish up some of my Maths questions tonight and then here I am, writing my day to you on here. Thank God, they have upgraded the Wifi connection too. So much faster now.

I said today was my 'ideal KY day' because I had a little bit of everything today. The serious stuffs, the fun, the working-out part. It was packed but it was relaxing in a way. If only everyday would be like today. Such bliss, I tell yaa.

I love KY, I do. I never understood some people who loathed KY so much that they can't wait to get the hell out of here. I mean, I wouldn't want to stay here longer than expected but I would like to enjoy every moment I'm having here without wishing the time would pass faster than it already has. I think I tend to appreciate KY personally because of the environment it offers and also because my route here wasn't an easy one.

It wasn't handed to me directly. I had to go through roadblocks, traffic jams and a fateful detour before I could arrive here. And when I finally did, I think it's only fair of me to appreciate the place and make the best out of my opportunity here.

And so, here's to a new semester! May we get through this one and the ones to come more alive than ever. Amin.

JELITA: The Price of Beauty

2011-01-07T02:54:00.009+08:00

Before I go on, watch the trailer above first so you'll know what I'm talking about.

Dah?

So I went back to IIUM on Tuesday night and it was for a purpose. To watch the Mock Trial 2011 specially produced by the Law students of IIUM who happened to be my old friends and coursemates. I was supposed to be in charge of the program under MeLEX (Law Students' Society) but then I left so the work was passed on to somebody else. I never knew what happened to it other than a few glimpses of the story few weeks back on Facebook and from other close IIUM friends.

But fast-forwarded 6 months after I left, a Mock Trial under the name JELITA: The Price of Beauty was made and I walked back into IIUM, eager to catch the show and also, to meet up with friends whom I have not met in 6 months. I was in such awe with the show. It was a story of a young girl, Tasmina who was obsessed with beauty and would do anything to get what she wanted even as far as murdering. Cerita ala Mona Fandey.

The show just hit the right notes. From the acting to the lighting to the dramatic music being played. It's hard to believe that this show was the work of 18 and 19 year olds and not professionals from Istana Budaya! Credits had to be given to the director, Putra Haziq and his team for such an excellent performance. I had to pay RM7 for admission but for the amount of entertainment and satisfaction I got out of it, it was well worth it.

It was so pleasant seeing my former coursemates too. So much gossips and stories to catch up on but it's good to know that most of them are still the same nice people I used to know. I do miss and think of them from time to time but ahh well, IIUM is my past and it'll stay that way.

Congrats again to the team for a brilliant performance! A solid proof that Law students are more than just bookworms and manipulators ;) And thank you for still giving me the credit on the basic storyline that I had in mind before I left, 'Superstition'. It warms my heart that you all still remember me too :)

With Mardhiyah and Nabilah, the besties from IIUM. Yes, my stories of them are 6 months out-of-date. Mehh.

Amalina, the main actress of the night. She brought so much life to her character as if she was Tasmina herself. Mar, Nabilah and I were holding on to our seats, a little terrified everytime 'Tasmina' gave her eerie laughters and stares. They were THAT real!

The man behind all these, Putra Haziq. May I say how much of a perfectionist he is? So much! Drilling his team for practices over the holidays, sometimes stretching them till 4 in the morning. Crazy, ain't it? But in a good way! Otherwise JELITA would have been a different story.

Some other photos from the night:

Hamzah Azhan, a dear friend and a policeman for the night. Just need to buff up a little there =p

The technical crew (if I'm not wrong) who took care of the dramatic effects of the night. They gave me chills and goosebumps. *Photo taken from Wirdah's Facebook*

Fullhouse! *Photo taken from Wirdah's Facebook*

Cheers to 2011!

2011-01-06T00:24:00.003+08:00

Hello! Been awhile eh? Honest to goodness, I did want to write a post prior to New Year but the Internet modem went Ka-boom! when lightning struck the line. Managed to get some Internet connection now by tethering the Blackberry into a modem. Smart no? Hehehe.

Anyywaayy, it's not too late to wish everyone 'Happy New Year!' is it? Of course not, it has only been 6 days. I hope you had a glorious time ushering in the New Year. I know I did. More on that when I've a proper internet connection that doesn't crawl slower than a pregnant turtle.

In retrospective, 2010 had been a grand year for me and I would go as far as to say it had been one of my best years. The 5 months break post-SPM was a time where no other breaks could beat. It started off slow but it began to pick up pace towards the end. I got myself involved in various volunteering stints with MERCY Malaysia, Krash Pad and an orphanage home nearby. And I still do come back to Krash Pad once in awhile to see the kids and help around with their projects sometimes.

Then came March 2010, SPM results. And with that came along the daunting, tedious scholarship-hunting process. I devoted the next one month to researching on scholarships, filling up forms, scanning documents, writing personal essays etc. It was tiring and frustrating at the same time particularly when your hard work was met with a lot of rejections. But Alhamdulillah, I did hit a jackpot with Shell Overseas Scholarship and I couldn't be any more thankful :)

2010 was a year of saying Hello to new friends and Goodbye to old friends. Most of us had to part ways with our high school friends as we each went on our roads to pursue our higher education. They're scattered all over Malaysia now with one in Perlis, another in Perak, some still stayed within Selangor but further away etc.

But before the scholarship offer came, my fate took a detour and I first ended up in IIUM, the PJ campus doing Foundation in Laws. Only 2 months were spent there but they were well-spent. Saying goodbye was the hardest part when you had to leave the amazing friends you made along the way and the interesting classes you sat in everyday. Speaking of IIUM, I was just there last night to watch their mock trial. More on that later. When I've a proper Internet connection, duhh.

Then came the new world: KYUEM. It's a totally separate entity from IIUM and after a semester spent there, I grew to love the place and the people even more. Though I've to admit, I kinda dread the new coming semester which will start in approximately...5 days. But KY and the new semester deserves a separate post so yes, more on that. Later.

Other good news within the family: Papa finally got promoted to the post he had been working on for so long and Ibu has been awarded with her Professorship and I'm a proud daughter because of these two :)

Other heart-wrenching news: We were tested with God's challenges when He took away some of us. My beloved grandfather, arwah Tok Ayah passed away in May '10 after a long battle of numerous diseases. Then a dear collegemate and petbrother, arwah Syazwan Asyraf lost his battle after 2 weeks in coma. May Allah bless their souls.

Nevertheless, 2010, thank you, you had been a wonderful year and definitely a year that I'll remember for a long time to come. Thank you Allah for blessing my family and I with such wonders and rezeki. You did test us with a few bumps and hitches along the way but they only made us stronger and also, made us realize we always need to go back to You, no matter what happened.

Here's to another great year ahead of us! Cheers to 2011!

Stay tuned for more updates :)

Wiltshire-KYUEM

2010-12-01T02:40:00.020+08:00

What happened on the last week of semester would be a week I would remember for a long time to come. A group of students from Wiltshire, England came to KY for a week under the 'Leadership Conference' sponsored by HSBC. It was a program that transcended borders, religions, skin colours and age. As cliche as it sounds, it's true. We walked away from it, more alive than ever with new knowledge being gained and new friendships being forged.

We went to see bits and pieces of Malaysia; Cameron Highlands, Kuala Lumpur and Pangkor . The Wiltshire students experienced a pretty big part of KY as well by being involved in some of the end of semester activities. From the Diwali Night to Christmas Party to End-of-Semester dinner as well as the epic basketball friendly match. We all had a taste of what each other had to offer.

And the people were just amazing. There was a nice blend of good humour, intelligence, sincerity and kindness in this group of people. And we were all just blessed to have had the chance to get together for a week.

A little note on each one of the Wiltshire peeps.

ESTHER. You're a beautiful girl who came to Malaysia with an attitude that I highly respect. You were determined and excited on trying on the different Malaysian foods and drinks, getting to know more of our local cultures and mingling well with the people in KY. I remember giving you the tour around the Islamic Art Museum and I was impressed by your keen interest on the Islamic and Malay culture that was on display. Made you all the more easy to talk to :)

VICKI (in the similar flowery maxi dress). Going shopping with you in Central Market and hanging out on the sandy Pangkor beach were probably one of the best moments we had together. You have such a good sense of humour and a bucket load of excitement and smiles. Make sure you're there to host me when I come around your town, someday =D

IMOGEN. Your laughters still ring through our ears. I've not seen anyone who could laugh as hard as you do! The sincerity and love of your friendship could clearly be felt and you're a dear friend we would all miss. Especially Zack!

ROSIE. You seem very quiet at first but behind all that quietness, there's that lovely girl who has the heart of gold. Your pretty hair-dos made the girls turned awe in envy. Please oh please, get yourself on Facebook so we can catch up on each other every day.

ROBYN. You have such an amazing voice! I love hearing you sing on the bus trips with the rest. You first struck me as Kelly Osbourne's doppelganger. Coupled with your bubbly personality, you've become someone so lovable. You're a good source for gossips too. Hehe ;)

EMILY. I loooveee your bohemian fashion sense. You're a bubbly girl as well and it's hard not to get along with you in a short period of time. Make sure you come back to Malaysia sometime soon.

BETH (in pink, on the left). Ohh, your non-stop chitter chatter and excitement kept us going for the whole week. It made me laugh every time you broke into never-been-heard-before songs like 'Chicky Chicken' and others (which I can't remember the names now). And missy, you need to get yourself on Facebook too!

VICKY (in white t-shirt). Vicky with the Y! I like how daring and spontaneous you can be sometimes. Your profile photo with you kissing the fish head cracks me up! I just wish I had spent more time with you to get to know you better. Next time, perhaps :)

ELEANOR. There's this harmonious relation between beauty and brains in yourself. Definitely so much more than just a pretty face. Go on and become a genius in the Science world so you can prove to everyone it's possible to be both; beautiful AND smart.

ALICE. You're such a talented musician. I wish you would have played the violin for us during your stay in Malaysia. And you're so sweet and adorable too! I wish you all the best in whatever you're doing. Next time you're here, make sure you play us some tunes okay?

LAUREN. You're a girl with a big heart. You probably had a rough life judging from the bits of stories you told us. But you turned out better than anyone in your situation would and that is definitely something to be proud of. Keep on going strong, girl!

TIMOTHY. Tim, oh Tim. You're so funny and full of expression! Your rendition of 'Telephone' is the best I've seen so far. You're different, stay that way. The world doesn't need another plastic around :)

BEN (the one being turned into a sand angel). Goofy. The first impression I had of you. I think that tall wizard hat you wore on the first night helped with the impression. Your jokes while at times were awkward, still made us laugh. Thank you for your goofiness :)

ETHAN. You can be a little too quiet sometimes but we still enjoyed your company throughout the week. We've found our version of Justin Bieber right about here. Do the Bieber flip!

WILL. It's a wonder how does a 17 year old know so much about a lot of things. I enjoyed our intellectual group discussions and you astounded me with the maturity of your thoughts. You look like someone who could end up on Downing Street one day. We shall keep an eye on that.

RHYS. What a cool, funny guy you are. It was such a pleasure working with you and I like how you are up-to-date on the current issues. Made conversations and discussions easier to flow between us. Thumbs up for that!

GREG. That 'Na na na na....Shifty!' tune has been stuck in the head for quite some time now. Thanks to you! But otherwise, you're a nice guy with a lot of wonders. Like a few others, I wish I had more time to get to know you better. More reason for you to come back next year then :)

CHRIS. You made talking about weather and snow a lot less dry and boring. You seem like a funny guy and I shall remember that cowboy hat you always put on. Keep me updated with the snow news there while I keep myself warm with the awesome hot Malaysian weather here ;)

And some photos from the week. In no particular order.

Farewell dinner at Headmaster's bungalow on the last night. Tears and songs accompanied our goodbyes.

Wet times on the beach in Pangkor.

Team Seamaster! Niesh, Will, Rhys and I.

Our topic of presentation: Overpopulation

Jumping high! With Qeela and Zack.

The whole gang at the Dutch Fort, Pangkor.

I love our bright pieces of clothing. Imogen and Vicki.

The climb up to the BOH Tea Plantation. Wasn't an easy one!

The Wiltshire basketball team

They played well against KYUEM

And ended up with such scores. Whooppss!

Enjoying the lush green view of Cameron Highlands

A trip to the Islamic Art Museum, Kuala Lumpur.

Queuing up for KFC On Wheels. So cool okayy! I never had my chicken directly from a lorry/truck before.

A shot before we went shopping around KLCC

Esther getting into the local culture by eating with her hands.

Diwali Night in KY.

Babes on the beach ;)

Showing off the biker henna tattoos they had from Diwali Night. Shifty Greg, Eleanor, Will, Rhys and Chris.

Cultural Performance brought directly from Wiltshire, England.

A photo-op with Cameron Highlands in the background.

We parted ways, wondering if our paths will ever cross again. Surely they will, one day. And if they didn't, there were these beautiful memories we had together to keep the paths lighted up. Till next time, peeps! :)

XOXO

Maths Anxiety

2010-11-09T10:41:00.004+08:00

Maths and I never got along well. We're like peanut butter and tuna. Or Russell Brand and Katy Perry. I always made it known how I prefer to write 4 pages of essays then solve a page of mathematical questions. Mhhm, true fact.

My semester report by the teachers came in recently and Mr Alderson's comments summarized my relationship with Maths so poignantly. This was what he had to say:

" Zafirah seems to have a double battle facing her in this subject. One is the problem that all students face; understanding the mathematical ideas and applying them correctly to solve problems. The other battle is one of confidence and belief that she can indeed do this subject."

One of the other Maths teachers did say my real problem was not that I couldn't understand the theories of Maths but it's a psychological problem. A mental block that I have where I would try to block Maths in my mind and grow into despising it so greatly. Uh oh. If they had fears of heights, snakes and crowded areas, why not fear of Maths eyh?

That wouldn't be so much of a problem if I had stayed on to do Law. But an Economics degree particularly at university level requires a GREAT deal of Mathematics, it's not something that I can run from. So, the only thing left for me to do to survive my next 5 years would be to actually start 'loving' the subject.

To welcome it into my life, to embrace, to spend more quality-time with it and to love it so dearly in my heart. Basically, I would have to get rid of this mental block in me and see Maths as another fun, interesting subject like History and Economics.

I guess...

Ughh, I need to go to a shrink. And solve more Maths problems outside of class.

In Loving Memory of Syazwan Asyraf

2010-11-04T00:31:00.000+08:00

My previous post was about Syazwan Asyraf who was fighting for his life in ICU after his sudden fall during the 7.5km marathon. That was close to 2 weeks ago.

Today, we found out Syazwan had passed away in Selayang Hospital at 4pm after a well-fought battle of his life. Which came as a big surprise to most of us since the doctors said he was doing better and will wake up from his coma soon. But I guess it was time for him to go. At least he did fight for his life. Two weeks of battling took a lot of guts and courage and he did it. Only that God decided enough was enough for him. Time to put him to rest.

I remember when we first started out with the whole petbrother/petsister thing. Allahyarham Syazwan would write me letters signed as 'Chronos' and I would have to guess who he was before the 'Revelation Night'. He told me he had 5 siblings with him as the eldest. He used to go to a boarding school and he loved the colour black. I asked him in the letter what was he planning to become. Later on he told me he's under JPA scholarship to do Geophysics and a UK-bound lad.

He had a long way ahead of him with all these big dreams planned out already. I would say he's one of the nicest guys in college. His face was an image of purity and kindness, it's hard not to love him. My biggest regret with him is the fact that I did not have the proper chance to get to know him better. There were times when I was in a rush, that when he passed by I just gave him a quick glance and quickly ran off to my classes or to where ever I had to go to. Not even a small 'Hello' or a smile. *Sigh*

The morning of the marathon, we were all running (well I was walking, most of the time) when he ran past me on my left. He looked so determined to reach the end of the race. My last view of him was the back of his sweaty 'Silat Cekak Hanafi' t-shirt as he left me behind. That was probably 15 minutes before he had his fall and that was the last time I saw him, alive.

My parents and I went to his family home in Shah Alam tonight to pay our last respects. The mood was sombre but his family and friends were spilling out from the house, reciting Yassin for him and wishing his family the best. You could tell how much Allahyarham was loved by everyone and his loss would be felt tremendously. I'm amazed at how strong and calm his parents are, particularly his dad.

We were talking to his dad briefly and he said, "Syazwan harapan keluarga. Tapi nak buat macam mana...." (Syazwan was the hope of the family. But what to do....). His younger siblings lost their eldest brother but most importantly, they lost their role model who they could look up to. I just hope the family will get through this ordeal smoothly.

But you know what they say, only the good ones die early. At least there's an end to his pain and agony. Even if he survived there's no guarantee he could lead his normal life again, with the organ failures and what not. So yes, Allah knows better and this was probably best for him.

Keep him in our prayers. Cherish the people around us. Because we'll never know who will be gone next.

Al-Fatihah for Allayarham Syazwan Asyraf. May Allah bless his soul.

His last Facebook profile photo with his dad

Precautions and Prayers

2010-10-26T10:56:00.006+08:00

We had a 7.5km marathon around Lembah Beringin on Saturday morning, in conjunction with KY's Health Awareness Week. Unfortunately, the run was marred by a tragic incident that happened to one of us.

One of the students, Syazwan who is also my petbrother was just 10m away from the finishing line when he collapsed and fainted. When he got conscious he had a seizure attack and fast-forwarded to now, he's in ICU fighting for his life. There are different theories as to what exactly is the cause, ranging from heatstroke to kidney failure to some superstitious stuff. But let's leave it at that, out of respect for him and his family.

The damage on him and his body system is far worse than what I can describe on here and we're all praying for the best, hoping he'll recover quickly from this ordeal.

His tragedy resurfaced a few things that needed attention. While there isn't anyone who should be blamed for what happened, I just wished things could have been handled in a better manner, particularly the marathon.

First things first, I can't help to question why weren't there any paramedics, significant police force or more volunteers looking after the runners? 7.5km marathon is not exactly a short distance run. It's even more perplexing that there wasn't any professional medical help on standby throughout the day should anything harmful were to happen to one of us. I could only see a few policemen at one checkpoint at a place which wasn't strategically located.

And let's not even get started on the jungle trail. There was no one on guard along the jungle trail which should not have been the case. There came a point of time where some of us were running alone on the trail with no one in front or at the back. Imagine how dangerous this could be especially for girls. Anyone could just grab you into the bush and no one would notice a thing. And since it's a jungle trail, it did not discount the fact that there may be wild animals lurking in there, ready for attacks. I wonder if the organizer did not notice this matter.

What comes next might touch a raw nerve in some people but I just have to say it. Intense pressure. High committee of Houses, I plead to all of you to stop putting ridiculous pressure on your members to perform. Words like "Whatever you do, don't stop running. Just keep going." or "I'm expecting most of you to get Top 30 or Top 50" only put even more pressure on us to outdo ourselves particularly before a big run like this.

I know they meant well, that these words were supposed to act as encouragement for the rest of us. And perhaps, it's okay to push ourselves to the limits. But the problem is that most of us do not know where our limits are and tend to go beyond them. The intense pressure from the House doesn't help either. Running non-stop for 7.5km?!

Unless you're a trained athlete, you're just putting yourself in a high-risk position to get injured. If those trained runners can't take it sometimes, what more the rest of us? I saw one of the athletic guys running non-stop for 32 minutes and his face was so pale he could have passed as a ghost. There's only so much pressure and hard work your body can take.

I don't know if we did all these because we were medically unaware of the repercussions of pushing the body too hard or because we were too hungry to outdo everyone else and just come top in the competition. God knows.

Yes, what happened to Syazwan was just a case of 1 out of 300 that ran on that day. That everyone else managed to finish the race in due health and fitness. That his case was a rarity.

Well, perhaps not. He was medically fit, he played sports frequently, he was good in his studies, he was just like one of us. And we just got lucky that what happened to him didn't happen to us.

But are we willing to take chances? This post is not about pointing fingers and blaming anyone on the incident. Far from it. It's just supposed to shed some light, to plead the Student Council to review the guidelines and the protocols of the marathon and to implore the Houses to take things easy on the pressure they put on their members. Necessary precautions are needed to avoid similar tragedies in the future.

Because we can't take such chances. Not when it involves lives. Young lives. We've a long way ahead of us. So many things left to do, so many people left to love. We don't want some hiccups of the system to jeopardize any of this, do we?

Also, please keep Syazwan in your prayers. He's currently in Hospital Sungai Buloh, undergoing 24/7 dialysis while doctors try their best to speed up his recovery. He's doing his best to continue fighting for his life.

Now, let's do OUR best to be cautious, to stay strong and remember him in our prayers.

What's New?

2010-10-10T23:09:00.006+08:00

The last 3 weeks had been pretty hectic. It was also my longest stay in KY without going back or without going out anywhere. It's surprising I survived it. Haha yeaa sorry drama sikit =p

Okay, brief updates on what has been happening in KY.

The first week after Raya break the college had this Raya Celebration, KY-style. Buffet was sprawled over on the field in front of New Block and everyone was dressed up in their baju kurung and baju Melayu. The food was good la, the closest thing we'll have to Raya delicacies in the jungle (satay, chicken rendang, cookies etc.) Though the wet field and the crowded block became a little uncomfortable for us to socialize around.

Next, there was Minggu Citra Budaya, a week where they held all sorts of competitions related to the Malay-culture. Ketupat-making, pantun, sajak and all that but the highlight of the week was the Boria competition by the boys. Hardcore gila diorang practiced. From 9pm till 1am for the last one month or so (?) and each house was rallying hard, making sure they gave their best shot. Topaz ended up getting second place for Boria and winning the overall place for Piala Citra Budaya. Hip hip horray!! =D

And then there was Evening with Topaz. Greek-style. It was pretty cool and I actually had fun bonding with the rest of the Topazians. What with our busy schedules and different classes, it was hard to catch up with everyone. But events like this made us closer to each other, juniors and seniors alike. Thumbs up for that!

Then came our first semester exam. There were History, Economics, Mathematics and Psychology papers for me. With 3 hours of IELTS paper too. Mentally exhausting. For the most of us, it was our first proper examination ever since SPM ended 10 months ago. It went alright and I hope the outcome will be alright too. *fingers crossed*

After having spent long weeks in college and then coming back home for the weekends, it never felt enough. My weekends at home (twice a month) seem very very short these days and it's no fun at all! There's hardly enough time for family, friends, shopping and what more for yourself. Is this what I have to succumb to for the next few years to come? =/

Ohh well, at least KY isn't too bad when I'm there. Amin to that.

KYUEM-ians during the Raya celebration

The girls with Irsyad and his fingers in his ears.

Nice shot of their laughters

The champion of Piala Citra Budaya: TOPAZ!

Rocking the Boria look with Fawwaz

Topazian boys doing their thing onstage. Wooot!

Ta-daaa!

When in Hong Kong

2010-09-18T00:42:00.015+08:00

It took awhile for my parents and I to decide on our next holiday destination. I voted for Maldives or Seoul. Ibu wanted to go to *I can't remember where* and Papa opted for Bandung. But somehow we settled down for Hong Kong on the third day of Raya.

Hong Kong wasn't exactly what I expected. Not that I came here with a lot of expectations. I did expect the city to be ethnically-diversed, a little like New York City or London, perhaps. But that wasn't exactly the case, if you know what I mean. It's Hong Kong. Not that it would matter much just that it was a little shocking to me at first.

That aside, I love how the city flows. There are different facades to it and we're lucky enough to get a glimpse of those. We started off the trip by staying at Gold Coast, an area on the New Territory, away from the hustle and bustle of the city centre. Waking up to the sight of the sprawling blue harbour surrounding our hotel was just amazing. It takes your breath away, every time.

******

Ibu

"Macau doesn't sleep."

"It doesn't? What does it do then?"

"It gambles."

True enough. Macau is considered Sin City of the East and there are casinos scattered all around the city. Probably more casinos than shopping malls or anything else. We went on a day trip to Macau and since we weren't gamblers (duhh), there wasn't much for us to see. Did a little of shopping and just walked about on the streets of the Sin City. Traces of Portuguese influence from the colonial era could still be seen in the city in terms of the buildings and also, how most signboards had Portuguese translations on them.

******

After a couple of days relaxing in the suburbs, we stayed over at the city centre. Somewhere near the Kowloon area. Time to groove in the city atmosphere, Honkies-style. What a huge difference it was; Kowloon and the New Territory. Where Gold Coast was quieter and less dense in population, this part of the city had people all over, cars honking here and there as well as shops whether big or small were seen at every corner.

Hong Kong is a shopping mall on its own. It is THE place to shop albeit it being a little too expensive at times. There are street markets like the Ladies Market and Stanley Market where they sell various arrays of things from handbags to clothes to shoes etc. But one has to be very careful when coming here. The sellers can sometimes charge an exorbitant price for their things so be sure to start bargaining for 50% to 70% off. It gets tiring and annoying after awhile but it'll be worth it ;)

And if you're not into street markets and imitations, there's always the high end stores to scout for. Tsim Sha Tsui is probably the best place to do it. Imagine Chanel, Hermes, Louis Vuitton, Dior and what not lined side by side on the same street. Crazy, ain't it?! You'll wish you were married to some millionaire at that time. Hehehe.

******

In terms of sightseeing, there is a lot to see in Hong Kong (besides shopping, of course). We managed to visit Aberdeen Fishing Village and saw a different side of the city. In the midst of the vast development of Hong Kong and the sophistication of its people, there's this village where the people made fishing as their main source of income and had boats as their abodes. The place used to be an ancient fishing port and it maintained some of those up until today.

I just looooveeee the sights of the harbour as well as Hong Kong's skyline at night. The skyline which is located at the side of the Hong Kong island gets very colourful and bright when night falls. It's even better than Manhattan's skyline. No kidding! And the harbour, oh my god! It's just stunning and you can't help but to be overwhelmed by its beauty.

******

Honkies appear to be pleasant and warm people. Somehow, we always found ourselves a bit lost when looking for places in the city and every time we turned to the locals for directions, they were more than helpful to us. And the people are usually well-dressed. The women have amazing fashion style while some of the guys can be pretty good-looking. Edison Chen-like guys ;)

Hong Kong, from where I saw it was like pieces of things I was familiar with. The street markets reminded me of the bazaars in Istanbul. The streets like Tsim Sha Tsui made me thought of NYC. Its airport had a resemblance of our airport, KLIA. But when those pieces are being put together, it becomes something new altogether.

If you want a short yet pleasant trip filled with a little bit of everything, Hong Kong is the place to go.

Just remember, when in Hong Kong, do as the Honkies do =p

Gold Coast from our hotel room.

Imagine waking up to this every morning, really.

Parents on the beach in front of our hotel

Morning dip at the beach

Ladies Market, Hong Kong. Remember, MUST bargain when you're here!

Macau

Had lunch at a Portuguese restaurant in Macau

Aberdeen Fishing Village. Those boats are also homes to some of the fishermen.

And somewhere near the fishing village, there's a Marina Club that docks all these luxurious boats and yachts. Toys of rich Honkies.

With Papa on our sampan ride across the village.

Behind us is the Jumbo Floating Restaurant. The most famous floating restaurant in Hong Kong.

Our first Halal Cantonese meal

At Stanley Market. The place seems neater and nicer than Ladies Market.

Repulse Bay in the background. Where a lot of rich Honkies reside in their beach homes.

Repulse Bay, again.

Tsim Sha Tsui. A famous shopping district in Hong Kong.

Try not to hyperventilate when you see this =p

Lantern Festival

Ahh, look at that. Hong Kong's skyline at night.

Hang Seng and the financial district is somewhere at the back of me.

Our last night in Hong Kong

From One Ramadhan To Another

2010-09-10T02:13:00.003+08:00

Raya is here again. It's a great blessing that we survived this Ramadhan, is it not? My mum was saying that Ramadhan is a good indicator of what has happened so far. From one Ramadhan to another; what changed, who came, who left, that sort of thing.

From last year's Ramadhan to this year's Ramadhan, things did change a lot. Last Ramadhan, my grandfather, Tok Ayah was still with us and we celebrated Raya together. This Ramadhan, he's gone. Last Ramadhan, my maternal grandmother, Wan was still fit as a fiddle but this Ramadhan she can barely get out of bed.

Last Ramadhan, I was still in my school uniform, cracking my head over SPM and still unsure of what to do after SPM. This Ramadhan, here I am in KYUEM, jumping ship from being a lawyer to charting my way to be an economist. Last Ramadhan, I was still hanging out and laughing with old friends from secondary school about the silliest of stuffs. This Ramadhan, we're on our own pathways as we drift apart slightly and get to know new set of friends.

So, yes a lot things did change within a year. Ramadhan has shown us that much. But I can only hope with the things that have happened, good or bad, they'll turn us into better Muslims. Muslims who have stronger faith and perseverance. After all, everything happens for a reason.

Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir dan Batin. Have a great one, y'all! :))

For memories' sake

2010-08-29T15:17:00.005+08:00

So I was talking to a friend about old memories and about how some of us have a hard time letting go of the past. Some are beautiful, some are just painful to bear and others are bittersweet. There are people who go on basking in the glory of their achievements or indulging in all those happy memories back in their high schools way even after they have left it.

Well, personally I don't have a problem with that. But when you do it too often and too excessively, what you did back then becomes less poignant. It seems as if you have nothing else to hold on to that you just had to keep on grasping to those old memories. Let go. Otherwise you won't have room for anything more.

Having said that, I couldn't help but to walk down the memory lane just to remind myself what it was like last time. Not that I would want to do anything differently or otherwise. Just that, sometimes it's nice to be reminded of the people, of the laughters, of the places and of the things you did. Who stayed, which laughter hasn't died down, where those places still stand with our memories and the things that still have our names emblazoned on it.

So, for memories' sake....

The smiles of 5 Angsana peeps.

The uber-debaters of SMKDJ.

These beautiful people whom I miss greatly =(

Animal rides in dresses. Talk about being nutters.

Bootylicious. Back when we were just a bunch of innocent 15 year olds.

See, even our teachers are as classy and cool as us. Puan Joyce and Puan Chia =)

And together, we shall fly. 5 Angsana magazine photoshoot.

'The Nostalgia' team who brought memories to you in a tangible form ( the school magazine laa)

When we were in Vegas. Senior prom '09 at Ritz Carlton.

These radiant smiles of us never actually faded away kan? :) Raya Open House '09

Chit-chatters. Raya Open House '09

Some things remained, some things...don't. Raya Open House '09

Big Love! Raya Open House '09

Raya '09. Our last Raya with Tok Ayah. I hope he's doing alright wherever he is. We miss you dearly, Tok Ayah. Al-Fatihah.

It's here again

2010-08-29T03:22:00.002+08:00

Ahh, it's here again.

You know, it's one of those moments where your mind goes blank and you've nothing to write and say. Or it's one of those moments where your life is so busy and you barely have time for anything else.

For me, it's a little bit of both. Ever since A-level started I find myself being pulled away from all the things that I used to love to do. Can't even indulge in a good book right now.

French Revolution notes, Econs' Production Possibility Curve, Maths brain-cracking questions and Mrs B psychology teachings beckon me.

I'll see you later then.

Till The End

2010-08-14T03:21:00.005+08:00

It's been a month since I've entered KY and so many things have already happened. My days are jam-packed with classes, evening activities and sports as well as homework and at times, there will be performances to put up that would probably suck up more of our time. Wheww!

Our latest being the Cultural Performance specially produced by Batch 13 for the entire KY community, parents and sponsors. We only had 2 weeks to prepare with only one solid week for practices so imagine the havoc and chaos we went through before the performance night! Few precious days before the night itself, tensions flared up, emotions ran high and whispers of angers went about the circle.

But surprise, surprise the event went on smoother than we thought and everyone was thoroughly entertained by it. Basically our Cultural Performance was a play called 'Till The End' where it was about these 3 good friends muddling through the Japanese Occupation era while fighting for Malaya. I played a pregnant mother who gave birth to one of the main characters, Anas. The play ended with Anas and Ah Siew (the other main character) being killed by the Japanese army so all the emo stuffs came out towards the end.

Despite the behind-the-scenes havoc and what not, I think we had fun all around. There's this certain satisfaction we felt when the curtain finally closed for the last time that night. It was the feeling that Batch 13 will still stick by each other through thick and thin for the next 2 years to come or till the end, maybe :')

Photos from the night.

That's me being preggo. Though the bump looked like I've been carrying it around for 12 months

Aminah and Salleh in their characters

*Arrghh, it's coming out!*

Aaannndd it's out. It's a baby boy, Anas :)

With some of our Malay, Indian and Chinese dancers

With Eleena. Love the bright coloured lenga on her

With the emcee of the night, Megat

Arvind looks good in his batik shirt!

How Things Roll in KYUEM

2010-08-01T01:25:00.007+08:00

Uber sorry for the lack of updates but I was away, trying to settle down in a new place. They call this place 'college of verdant uplands' or 'kolej dalam hutan' and some other odd names but otherwise, it's officially known as Kolej Yayasan UEM (KYUEM).

I'd always wanted to come here and when I was finally here, it took me awhile to absorb where I was and my surroundings. This place is a lot better than I imagined. They have top-class facilities, great environment to study in and there's a nice blend of lecturers here; 60% local and 40% expats. The people can be pretty intimidating as well. Around 40% to 50% of us are scholars from Bank Negara, Khazanah, UEM, Petronas, JPA etc. who are mostly aiming for Oxbridge universities, LSE and the likes. You can already imagine how tough the competition will be.

Our schedules here can be very packed with classes starting from 8.15am till 4.10pm with only 1 hour break for lunch/prayers. After that you're expected to be involved and participate in whatever sports or clubs that they have. I registered myself for Music Club, Debate Club as well as Tennis, for the sake of trying something new. Sometimes we have events or performances to prepare for so practices run at night 'till say, 11pm. Homework and revisions should be done before you put yourself to bed. Though, sometimes that's clearly not the case.

I find that KY students must not only have good time management skills but one has to be physically fit and mentally healthy to be able to keep up with its demanding lifestyle. A-level is tough as it is and coupled with stiff competition from the batchmates and an active co-curricular life, one has to really play one's cards well to survive here.

But despite all that, I do love being here. We had an induction week for about a week just to familiarize ourselves with the system and atmosphere. We were constantly reminded on how we should strive like a real fighter when we're here because the road ahead won't be easy. Along the way, we have to keep a strong bond with our mates because when we're away in the middle of nowhere like here, all that we have are ourselves and our friends.

Life here will be very busy but it's for the best. I'm joining the rat race of getting a spot into Oxbridge, LSE, Warwick etc. and let's see where it'll get me.

Ohh, and with all those sports facilities and activities that they have, I can already see a fitter and slimmer me at the end of my 2 years here.

Just you watch out for it. Hehehe ;)

KYUEM's green field. When I first walked along the hallway on the way to my chalet, I just had to stop for awhile and take a gander at the spacious green landscape in front of me. It was just breathtaking.

My room in the chalet. There are 4 people per chalet and everyone gets their own room. More privacy that way. Yay!

Aliaaaa. My best friend outside of KY and my bestest friend inside of KY. Funny how we both ended up here at the last minute but I think we're just fortunate to have one another in this new place.

Some of the girls from Batch 13 with Arvind at the back.

Batch Anniversary. Newly arrived juniors were supposed to put up this gig as a gesture of appreciation and entertainment for our seniors. We partied all night long with dances, sketch and band-playing put on the table. Well, more like partied till umm 10pm? =p Classes tomorrow morning laaa.

Alia and I with some of the senior guys.

Eleena!

Ohh bukan, ini lakonan semata-mata. Hehe.

Zikri, Vice-President of Student Council.

People of UIA

2010-07-17T23:05:00.010+08:00

This is specially for the people of UIA.

When I first came to UIA, I hated the place. I couldn't do this, I couldn't do that. I always referred to it as the 'dungeon'. And then I walked into this classroom of people who came from different walks of life with colourful characters and differing opinions. Yet, we could still gelled together.

Two months had been a short period of time but it had been wonderful because of the classes and the people I met along the way. I hope our friendships wouldn't just end after we have stepped out of the classroom but they'll continue even after we have long left the place.

Before I left, some of us gathered for a farewell lunch at Jaya One.

Some of my classmates who were there

These people had done some amazing stuffs in their lives. And I'm sure they will continue to do so.

With Nabilah and Mar

My besties in UIA, Mar and Nabilah. We're so like-minded yet so different in many ways. It's amusing, really. You girls had made my time there much more interesting. All those illegal boy-hunting, the constant "Oh my god, he's hot!" screams from the both of you, the dinners and lunches at U Cafe, the random and hilarious BBM voice notes you girls sent.

MAR, you had been a great listener. I remember how you were so supportive and helpful of me when I first got to know of the Shell offer. You hooked me up with your JPA-scholar (Econs) friend and your uncle just so I could ask more questions about the field. We spent an hour in the empty library, talking about passion and the 'fire of the will'. Your story of how you survived SPM gave me inspiration on what I should do next. And you convinced me in so many ways on why I am indeed making the right choice and that I should not have any regrets.

Mar, you will go far in life not only because you're a wise girl but also because of the kindness of your heart. You're one of the nicest, sweetest people I've met in my life and I was fortunate enough to have met you here. Remember how you told me our duty is to always give to others and then Allah will give back to us? I think as long as we hold on to that, we will be alright no matter where we are. So, get your LLB and go be the chocolatier that you've always dreamed of. You deserve to be someone you want to be. That, and so much more.

NABILAH, we've met before but we never really became friends until we came here. Thank you for making my drowsy morning classes slightly interesting with your Omegle stories. Hehe. And girl, you sooo deserve someone who will love you for who you are, one that will not just 'try' to make things work but will actually do it, someone who will treat you the way you should be treated. He is out there, somewhere. Just don't force it. You know how good things come to those who wait? You'll see for yourself soon =)

AINI, you are a sweet girl with a beautiful heart. When we had our first meal at Nando's and you told me that experience you went through, you just astounded me with your strength and patience. I can tell you're someone who puts others before you and I think that's what makes you beautiful too. Keep it going, girl!

SYAMIR, we had been friends since we were in Form 1 and we're probably the only one in our clique that got 'thrown' into the same place. Lucky us! I had to leave but I'm sure you'll be alright there. Study hardcore gila babs while you're there so one day, I can see you as the doctor with the white coat in one of our hospitals. Just like in the photo above.

ABDUH, you have one of those characters that girls would actually die for in a guy. Big guy with an even bigger heart. You were one of those who urged me to take the offer, you reminded me how things like this only happen to special people and come by once in awhile. You said, "This short acquaintance would be one I remember. I'd always thought scholars are snobbish smart-alecks until I met you. You're not smart, you're actually intelligent." Words can't describe how wondrous you are and if there's anyone from one of us who could take over as the Chief Justice of Malaysia, it's YOU.

SARAH, so elegant and poise. My Krash Pad partner from UIA. You know I didn't mean the 'Big Mama' jokes right? ;) But you're smart, beautiful and astounding. Anything else won't matter when you have all that. Hope to see you very soon. At Krash Pad, perhaps.

AMALINA, you know you're an amazing girl. You know you're capable of so many things, that you could carry the mountain on your shoulders if you wanted to. But there are times when you doubt yourself too much. Don't, please. Good luck with all the MeLEX work. I'm sure the mock trial in particular would be a great success in December. It is time that you become the boss of your own :)

AISHAH, funny how we met when we were in Standard 4 and then got separated during secondary school and then got reunited again here. You're still the sweet, pretty girl I had always known so keep it that way, kay?

IMAN, I stumbled across your blog the other day and I was amazed at how poetic and deep your writings can be. Don't stop writing those things, they'll help you survive in this structured, rigid world of law. And semoga bahagia ke anak cucu-cucu dengan si dia. Hehe.

SADDIQ, you're passionate about so many things. Never had I met anyone who was so fervent about Malaysia and his school. RMC-bred, hardcore debater, staunch supporter of the government. That's an explosive combination. I'm sure you'll be THE politician of our time, soon.

HARRIS, you can become an explosive combination just like your roommate too. Good luck with your debating career here in UIA. I look forward to seeing your name and the rest in the newspapers for winning some prestigious debating cup overseas or something. Also, make sure you take good care of your precious girl. Hehe.

SHAFIQ, you're a mysterious dude, for sure. Probably because I did not have the chance to get to know you better but nonetheless, I hope you'll survive in this world of law and morality.

IMRAN, you're so blur and funny laa. I know you're confused whether you should be a lawyer or take up that MARA offer of aeronautical engineering (betul tak?) and sometimes you feel like being a bartender (so I've heard). But whatever it is that you choose at the end, I'm sure you're gonna be great at it. Go, Imran!

SYURA COUNCIL members, how lucky I was to be part of your family. You showed me what friendship, teamwork and hardwork really meant. It's a pity I couldn't stay longer with all of you but I'm sure you would all manage well even with one member out. Though I'm just glad I wouldn't have to go through those super-late 1a.m. meetings =p

To the rest, thank you for being such awesome coursemates. There was a reason why we all met in the first place and one day, when we meet again, let's pray that we will become somebody that the ummah can look up to. That, when I see the CEOs of companies, big-shot lawyers and judges, ambassadors etc in the future, I could point out and say, "Heyy, he/she was once my classmate in UIA." Insyaallah.

This is not a goodbye. It's a 'see you later'.

P/S I just realized from the photos above that I've actually gained weight from my time there. Grr! =(

Which One Prevails?

2010-07-16T23:12:00.004+08:00

Alright, so decision has been made. In this battle of passion vs great opportunity, the favour goes to 'great opportunity'.

I officially withdrew from IIUM today and if everything goes well, I'll be starting my A-level in KYUEM next week. This was probably the hardest decision I had made so far in my life but it came after having deep discussions with my parents, seeking advices from experts some of which were economist of Bank Negara, former bank director and Econs graduates themselves. I weighed in the pros and cons of every possibility and that was what I came up with.

Initially, I didn't even want to apply for the scholarship as the whole process was so so tedious. But Ibu nagged me whole way through and I finally sent in my application the night of the dateline. And look where it got me. I couldn't be anymore thankful than this.

I had always seen myself as a lawyer, that perhaps Law was what I was meant to do. But I guess if things can change, so can visions and dreams. There's so much for me to say, on why I chose what I chose and I had already arranged those words in mind but decided to let those words just stay where they were. I don't need to explain the reason behind my decision as long as I'm ready for what's coming ahead of me.

I'm about to plunge into uncharted waters. I'll either sail through or I'll sink. But I've learned how to swim before this. In fact, that's how I got here.

Except that this time I'll have to swim harder.

P/S To those who missed seeing me in the newspapers, here they are. Hehehe ;)

News Straits Times. For the full article go here.

Utusan Malaysia. Though the title was off. 'Samseng sekolah'? Hah.

Dilemma Oh Dilemma

2010-07-08T20:53:00.005+08:00

I was in class when a Shell officer left a voice message on my phone, saying that I was chosen as one of their recipients for the Shell Overseas Scholarship. I refrained myself from jumping up and down and screaming in joy while Bro Mahyuddin was teaching about 'auction without reserve' in front of the class.

But when the excitement and joy had subsided down, I began to get into a dilemma. Of whether to accept the offer or not. They're offering me Finance/Economics where I can choose whichever Pre-University college I want to go to in Malaysia and later on for my degree, I am free to apply to whichever universities that I am keen on. I don't have the full details yet but will get them by next week.

It sounds like a great deal BUT I'm not sure if Finance/Economics is the thing for me, you know. Spending 2 months in UIA as its law student, I can feel it somewhere in me that Law suits who I am and my character. Plus it doesn't involve any maths or science. Ohh, how I love that!

When I first came here, I had mentally let go of all things related to Maths and Science since I thought I won't be needing them so much if I ended up with a Law degree. Like the other day, a friend asked me to solve this Add Maths-related question and all those numbers looked like Greek letters to me.

And now I'm supposed to take up an offer that involves a whole lot more of Maths and god-knows-what. How laaa? =/

It's a great offer, no doubt and I couldn't be even more thankful for this. The process of getting here wasn't an easy one. You would know if you read my previous posts. But there's also the other side of the coin which I would have to consider.

Because this could very much cause a major alteration of the road ahead of me.

It's Law vs Finance/Economics. It's passion vs a great opportunity.

Which will prevail?

Coming soon...

Running for Syura Council

2010-07-03T18:36:00.003+08:00

You know, when you first enter college/university you have this mental checklist of the things you want to do while you're there? I have one too and one of the things on the list are to run for an election.

So I did just that last week. It was for the Syura Council of the Law Student Society (MeLEX). Here's how it worked. Around 100 Law students submitted their application to the department to be considered as one of the candidates and from there, they short-listed 30 of us to go through an interview session with the lecturers.

Only 25 successful interviewees will be allowed to run for the campaign and contest for the election. So it began. We had posters of ourselves hung around the campus, garnering (or begging) the support of fellow friends to vote for us that night and we had to be extra nice to the rest of the law student society. Hehehe.

And then came the Annual General Meeting night where all the Law students gathered together to elect their next line-up of the Syura Council. Each candidate was asked to go onstage and was given a topic to talk about for 2 minutes.

Some had to talk about a pink t-shirt, sambal belacan, Islam Hadhari and homosexual marriages. My topic was New Economic Model (NEM). I know right, so 'zzzzzzzz.....'

Anyhow, they voted and only 17 could be included in the new line-up of the Council. I loved how supportive and enthusiastic these people can be. The hall was shaking with screams and shrieks of the audiences who were supporting their favourite candidates. Way to live up the night!

So, I was one of the 17 members (yay!) and the next day we had a meeting on our own to decide on which post goes to whom. Someone will nominate a name for one particular post and if the majority agrees with it then he will be holding the position.

This process was first practiced during Prophet Muhammad's era where every decision and choices made were discussed among the Syura Council members beforehand. That's what we're doing too, right now.

I got the Head of General Secretariat post. Whatever that means. I'll find out soon enough la.

But for now, on the mental checklist, 'running an election'; CHECK =D

The poster. FYI, I don't spell greater as 'greather'. That was a typo error on their part.

The candidates of the night. Notice how everyone was dressed in black and white.

And that's me with my ever-chatty classmate cum Assistant Head of General Secretariat, Amalina

My Hijab

2010-06-20T01:19:00.003+08:00

Pretty much everyone knows that when in UIA, the females MUST cover up their aurah, including their hair by wearing the tudung/hijab. Though, of course, there are some of them who only wear the hijab in the university's compound and take it off whenever they are outside.

Ever since I entered UIA, I've decided to wear the hijab....full time. I dunno, somehow I feel like if I only wear it in the uni and remain a 'free hair' (someone who doesn't wear the hijab) outside, I am being a hypocrite. At least, that's how I feel, personally.

It's like I wear it just because the university requires me to do so and not because of Allah even though it's clearly said in Islam we have to cover up. I follow the rules set by humans but I choose not to follow the rules ordered by Allah? Where's the sincerity of my faith in that?

And because of that, I take the decision to wear it full-time and have been wearing it for the last one month, alhamdulillah :) Surprisingly so, I actually feel more beautiful, inside out when I adorn the scarf on my head. Plus, I wouldn't have to worry about having another bad, frizzy hair day. Hehe.

Everyone has the right to their own choices, whether they want to wear the hijab or not, whether required by an authority or otherwise.

Whichever choice you make, it's between you and God. This is my personal choice and as a Muslim, I am proud of it.

I can only hope this will lead me to a better person, Insyaallah.

Some shots of me with the new look ;)

With Ibu and Papa at a cousin's wedding. I chose to wear the normal scarf while Ibu opted to wear the 'Siti Nurhaliza's' tudung. Phewitt! =p

With Papa. Ever since he had his cataract surgery, he's always seen with his sunglasses outside. Stylo!

At our favourite hangout place, Starbucks.

See, no bad hair in sight.

Life as a Law Student, so far

2010-06-13T12:11:00.005+08:00

Week 3 in UIA and things are beginning to look up. Classes have started though there are one or two classes where the lecturer is absent or choose to cut the class short. Nonetheless, I'm beginning to enjoy them and looking forward to more of the lectures.

Quick updates on my life as a Law student in the dungeon. I mean, UIA =p

- There are 3 core subjects this semester: Introduction to Law, Islamic Legal History and General Principles of Law 1.

- On top of that, there are university-required subjects we have to study: Arabic, ICT and Basic Themes of Al-quran.

- The students are divided according to their levels of English based on the placement test taken during the orientation week. I'm exempted from English classes and starting Arabic at Level 1.

- Arabic is tough. Most of us who are starting at Level 1 have zero knowledge of the language (other than knowing how to read the Quran) but you should see our eagerness in wanting to learn it. Too bad the Ustaz likes to cut the class short. Heh.

- The lecturers are pretty awesome. For once, I don't find myself wanting to fall asleep in class ;)

- There's an interesting mix of people here. We have the 'tudung-labuh' girls, the 'free hair' girls, the liberal ones, the politically-inclined group, the VIP kids etc. But somehow we manage to get along well enough.

- I've started my first case-study; Balfour v. Balfour [1919] 2 KB 571. Which requires a lot of referring to numerous law reference books.

- The library has become my new best friend.

- Assignments are slowly pouring in and no 'spoon-feeding' from our lecturers like how it used to be in secondary schools with our teachers. You're on your own most of the time now.

- I still eagerly look forward to go home every weekend and dread going back there on Sunday evenings.

Some photos from the place.

Taken from the 'Taaruf Week'. Spot me? Of course you can't. That's like 2000 girls being dressed in the same way.

One of the hostels or 'Mahallah' as we call it. CFS stands for Centre for Foundation Studies.

The Law Section of the library.

That's me pouring over different reference books.

Look at the books, they're as old as....god-knows-what.

Someone found a bug in between the pages of these books. No kidding!

Every Tuesday evening, there's a special outing for 'pasar malam'. So exciting right? LOL. And that's me with Syamir at our special outing.

In my room. The right bed is mine. Somehow this one looks neater than my own bedroom at home. Hehe.

Settling Down

2010-06-05T00:43:00.004+08:00

It's been week two of my time in UIA and yet, classes haven't started. Other universities have started with theirs and we're still doing the whole orientation thing, more or less. Borriingggg, I tell you!

So what's it like in there? To be honest, I don't quite like it. At least, not yet. It's hard to say when I've only been there for 2 weeks and I'm trying to be as optimistic as possible of the place. After all, I'll be spending my next one year there so better start loving it.

There's so much for me to say about UIA's Foundation Centre here, mostly the not-so-nice things but I shall refrain myself from doing so. This is a public space and well, let's just say I wouldn't want to get into trouble with the UIA people because of this.

The point here is that some of the rules and the way things work over there don't really settle down well with me and I began to dislike the place, a bit. I found myself wanting to go home every chance I had.

Maybe it's because I've never been away from home and doing the hostel-living kind of thing. Maybe it's because I've always been this 'free hair' girl who suddenly got chucked away to a place like this. Maybe it's just because I haven't found my right footing here yet.

Classes will start this Monday. Perhaps things will get better then. Since I'll be busy and occupied with my new life, no time to think of my despairs and agony of the place.

Let's hope so.

Almost there....Shell's second-stage interview

2010-05-30T00:02:00.003+08:00

First things first, let me tell you about my second-stage interview for Shell pre-university scholarship at Shell House in Damansara Heights, in between my Taaruf Week in UIA. I previously wrote about my first-stage interview which was a phone interview here.

A few of us were selected for the second-stage interview few weeks later and for my session, there were 8 of us aged between 18 and 21. For some reason they mixed pre-university with undergraduate applicants for the interview so the competition became slightly stiffer.

There was an Asean scholar, an SPM leaver who just received an offer from JPA, a national champion of public speaking and yes, all of them were highly impressive. We were competing with the best among the best here *gulps*

As for the interview itself, it was tough but I walked out of the interview, knowing more of Shell, of business strategies and plans and even of myself than when I first walked in. The first part was an individual assessment where each of us was given 40 minutes to go through a case study of Shell's business in this particular country and during the assessment, we will be questioned by 2 of Shell's people on the issues highlighted as well as solutions to the problems given.

My assessors were both Shell engineers, a local and a British-Pakistani chemical engineer who got posted to KL. They kept on hitting me with questions from the case study as well as my proposed plan so there wasn't much time to think and I just said whatever came to mind. There wasn't any right or wrong answers, they just wanted to see how creative and innovative your thoughts can be.

Next up was the group assessment where I was paired with another candidate and together, we would have to come up with 2 projects to propose to Shell as part of their social investments. From there, we would have to re-group with another pair and decided again on the 2 projects for Shell while making sure we fulfill their criteria and stay within the allocated funds.

A mock 'press conference' was held after the discussion as the assessors role-played as journalists and asked us questions about our 2 choices. I thought that was a fun session. The whole thing actually. Something different than the typical, boring interview like JPA's (Zzzzz...)

I'm not sure of my chances of securing this scholarship (JPA just rejected me, by the way) since there's some tough competition and the places on offer are very limited. But otherwise, this had been good and if this still doesn't work out, I'm ready to make the best out of my time in UIA.

UIA, that's another story. Another day, perhaps.

The 8 candidates of the day

Deep in discussion about our interview sessions after they ended

With Weiyang, one of the candidates

Tee hee :)

Away from home

2010-05-24T23:36:00.002+08:00

Heya, peeps! I'm in IIUM aka UIA now for my Taaruf Week (orientation week) in its PJ campus. Yea, that's right. I'm officially a UIA student now.

This place is just so different than what I've been through before mainly because of its strict set of rules. I'm doing the whole away-from-home thing and wearing the headscarf full-time for the first time. So, no it's not easy and I'm trying to cope here.

I'll get back to you soon when my Taaruf Week is over and when I'm more settled down.

They say the first week is meant to be tough. No wonder I feel like going home already.

Happy Krash Pad-ing 18, Zaffy!

2010-05-21T11:13:00.008+08:00

You see, I'm kinda tired of celebrating birthdays with dinners at TGIF, Chilli's etc with friends. It's alright but quite the typical case, isn't it?

So instead of that, for my 18th birthday this year, the party was held at...Krash Pad! Yeah, the place where I've been volunteering at for the past few weeks. Decided to celebrate and share my birthday with the kids of Krash Pad and oh boy, what a party it was! ;)

We had magic show, head-banging performances, ice-creams, party games, you know, the whole party shebang. And the kids were amazing. Some of them had never celebrated their birthdays before so sharing this with them sort of gave them that small taste of birthday celebrations.

And they thoroughly enjoyed it! When you see joyous faces, widespread smiles and gaily laughters coming from these kids, you can't help but to glow with them too.

What a way to turn older eh?

Muchas gracias to friends and family who were willing to come down to KL and spend their Sunday evening at the party. The other volunteers of Krash pad were also very helpful with the setting up of the party and what not.

And thank you Ibu and Papa for sponsoring the party. Love you much! =)

Say Hello to Chase the Magician

The kids being entertained by Chase. And that's Rauf munching on tissue papers. Haha you ahh macha =p

The pretty girlfriends. Mimi, Me, Hanna and Nunu

Let's blow the party away!

Makan-makan

The Krash Pad band setting up before playing a couple of great songs for everyone.

Our very own rendition of 'Telephone' by Keefe, Mimi and Nunu. The crowd got wild at the 'Eh eh eh eh' part. Lollersss!

With some of the kids. Well actually they are my cousins. Little (sometimes naughty) toddlers, they are.

Briefing them on the party games. We played the 'musical newspaper'. A version of musical chair but on newspaper.

And let the game begins!

Cake-cutting ceremony. I see thousands of hands on the same cake knife. Haha.

*****

On another note, some photos from the lunch at Wondermilk on my birthday itself. With most of us leaving for university soon at different parts of the country, this one had been good. We all shall be missed :)

18 and counting

2010-05-13T17:08:00.002+08:00

Yes, I turned 18 on Tuesday (11th May).

18 is a pretty significant number and I can already feel the bones in me changing.

Had an awesome lunch with a group of the best besties in the world at Wondermilk Cafe. Photos will be up as soon as they feel like uploading them.

And just you wait for this Sunday. That's when the real party is going to begin! Hehe ;)

Perginya Dia

2010-05-07T23:52:00.003+08:00

I've been meaning to write this on here but had been put off by a few things. My paternal grandfather whom we fondly called as Tok Ayah just passed away last Tuesday (4/5/10) due to a long list of health complications. He had diabetes (his leg got amputated few years back), heart problem, renal failure, eye problem etc. etc.

To those who offered their condolences and sympathy to my family, I would always say, "Thank you. But it was best for him to go. Put an end to all his sufferings."

His last few days, no, make that his last month was a painful one. He was warded at HKL for about a month and he was constantly in pain. The doctors could only feed him milk through his nose and he wasn't allowed to take more than just a few sips of water. Every so often when he's in so much pain he would cry out, "Aduuhh sakiitt!" and that wasn't easy to hear.

At times like this, I wished I was a doctor because then perhaps I could do something to ease his pain rather than just stand by the bedside with slight tears in the eyes, watching him in agony. The HKL doctors were too busy attending to other patients.

The family had Tahlil for 3 nights in a row and it was nice to see family and friends from all over coming together to attend the Tahlil. But Tok Ayah's lack of presence was clearly felt. If he was around, he would join in the lively chats and banters and talk animatedly about Malaysian politics. Oh, he was really good at commentating on our politics and added his own dry humour to it. I'll miss that part of him.

Tok Ayah was the only grandfather I ever knew (my maternal grandfather passed away long before I was born) and he was the best at it, to me. When I was a kid, every time I visited their house I would first search and run over for my Tok Ayah as he took me on his lap.

There was this one time where I accidentally scratched his favourite car with a metal piece I found on the floor. I drew stick men on the car hood and ohh man, he was sooo furious about it. I was 6 years old then. He gave me the cold shoulder for awhile but being the Tok Ayah he was, he couldn't stay angry at me for long.

I remembered when I was in Form 4 and the WIRA debate team managed to get to the national levels which was held in Kelantan. I briefly mentioned it to him in passing and when I visited him the next time, he told me he was in Kelantan and went to visit the resort the team was staying in hoping to come and show his support. But we had gone back already. That somehow managed to tug at my heartstrings.

He had this favourite expression he used every time one of us asked him how was he.

"Apa khabar, Ayah"(How are you, father?)

"Ahh tak dok gapo. Nak habehkan lagu jaa."(Ahh nothing. Just finishing the song)

"Nak habiskan lagu." It referred to how he's about to reach the end of his life journey.

And when he passed away last Tuesday morning, like what my mum wrote on her blog, the song had ended, indeed.

You'll be dearly missed, Tok Ayah.

Al-fatihah.

P/S You might want to read the story of our 'psychic' with my grandfather moments before his death here.

Kring, kring! It's Shell calling!

2010-05-03T12:10:00.006+08:00

My scholarship journey has been...interesting so far, to say the least. Shortlisted results here and there but for the most part, rejections. But all is well, this is part and parcel of life, ain't it? Haha righttt.

So, Shell was the other one who was kind enough to shortlist me for their scholarship, alongside PNB and JPA (God bless them!) and their interview was done in a pretty unorthodox way.

Instead of the usual face-to-face interview, their first stage was the phone interview. Someone was saying, how would they know they're talking to the right person when it's only over the phone? For all you care for, it could be the mother who's answering for the child right?

Okay, anyway, I did answer the call on my own and the interviewer, a very professional-sounding lady explained to me what's the interview like. It should be around 45 to 60 minutes and she will test me in three different aspects: Capacity, Achievement, Relationship.

I shall not delve into the finer details but basically, I talked about my personal achievements and the things that I had been proud of throughout my years in school and afterwards. And she told me to choose a topic of discussion out of the 4 that she offered (CSR, renewable energy, quality of graduates for the employment market and the use of internet in business field).

I chose corporate social responsibility. I did read up on this prior to the interview but I've found that you can read all you want and you'll still end up with unexpected questions from the interviewer which requires you to think for the answers on your own. For that, I have my debating skills and experience to thank for, really :)

I felt today's interview was real and personal. Mainly because we talked about things that were close to my heart. Like my experience manning the editorial board, my debate moments, the volunteer stint I'm doing with the disadvantaged youths.

This had been pleasant. If I passed through this stage, then I'll be called up for the second-stage interview, a face-to-face one which will be even more grueling. Hopefully something good will come out of this, as always :)

Ohh I should also tell you about the other scholarship rejections. On how snooty and inconsiderate some of the other officers from the other companies can be. But I shall save that for another day.

Stay tuned!

Hold on

2010-04-30T01:14:00.004+08:00

Hello? Looking for who? Zaffy?

Ah, she's right here. Just a moment, please.

In between scholarships interviews and rejections, grandparents' sickness and dad's surgery, volunteer work and rotting at home, the muse for writing isn't quite here.

Hold on, ya? :)

Crashing at Krash Pad

2010-04-20T17:31:00.000+08:00

There's this new centre for at-risk youths in KL to hang out at after their school hours called Krash Pad. The aim is to ensure these kids do not loiter around aimlessly and to provide a safe environment for them to be in.

So, Wai Meng and I decided to check out the place yesterday and we were pleasantly surprised with the condition of the place. Very clean, organized and high-tech too. They have a gym, ICT lab, a common room with a flat screen Plasma TV, music room with guitars and drums, fully-equipped classroom and a library with a great selection of books from all sorts of genres. The books are even better than the ones in DJ's library! Sorry to say =p

We've decided to help tutor the kids there. Wai Meng will teach Bahasa Malaysia to Form 3-Form 5 kids while I opt to personally tutor stateless children who have not been schooled for as long as they could remember. Seeing as how these kids have no birth cert and official documents, they are not allowed to go to school.

Some of them, even at 17 years old, still can't read, write and count the simple things. One of the girls was so eager to learn and she told me, "Saya suka la ada orang lembut macam kakak ni nak ajar saya. Dulu saya punya kakak pernah nak ajar saya. Tapi kalau saya tak faham sikit, dia jirus muka saya dengan air la, buang pisang kat saya la. Saya pun takut nak belajar." (I like gentle people like you who wants to teach me. Last time, my sister tried to teach me. But if I can't understand a bit, she will splash my face with water, throws banana at me. I've become scared to learn, too).

It's saddening, really. These kids are not stupid, no way at all. It's just that, they're not given the opportunity to learn like how the more fortunate kids are. So, I'm helping out at the centre and do what I can and help where I can. And when you're there, you can't help but feel attached to the children and feel yourself at home, too.

I've always thought that charity doesn't only begin at home, it begins from the heart. <3

They have dance class every Monday morning. A volunteer who is also a medical student from India teaches the girls belly dancing. I couldn't help but join in as well. Hehe.

And we stretcheeddd to the left

The Gym at the centre

The library. I can't get over how cool the book selections are.

Played a Malay-version of Scrabble; Sahibba. It's a lot harder, you know!

Teaching one of the girls how to read. She told me she had always wanted to read a book on Pinocchio but she didn't know how to read and no one would read with her. And so, yesterday we managed to read about Gepetto and Pinocchio's lies :)

Sex and the City

2010-04-15T19:29:00.000+08:00

Left to Right: Miss Awesome Ashiqin, Miss Zaffy Zen, Miss Mimsy Mimi, Miss Naughty Nunu

This is our version of 'Sex and the City'. Shiqin is 'Carrie Bradshaw'. Though she is still looking for her Mr Big. I am 'Samantha Jones'. Though I am not sexually active the way Samantha is. God, no!

Mimi is 'Charlotte York'. She looks the part, in a way. Though she isn't as naive as the real Charlotte. I think ;p

Then we have Nunu as 'Miranda Hobbes'. She's our best friend, confidante and voice of reason. Just like the real Miranda, too.

And that's our little fantasy. Ahh well.

We've experienced our own chic lit drama, bitch fights, boy episodes, body weight/appearance issues but at the end of the day, we'll always be like the ones in the photo.

Especially when we have each other's hands to hold on to =)

JPA Scholarship Interview

2010-04-08T23:08:00.000+08:00

Alright, so I had my JPA Scholarship interview at Putrajaya International Convention Centre today. Let's just go straight to the details of the interview and skip the part where I had to wait 3 hours before my turn (heeh!).

Typically, there should be 5 to 6 people in a panel with three interviewers. But for some reason, my panel had like 8 applicants. They probably wanted to save time, so yeah. We started off with introductions which was in Bahasa Malaysia. Name, previous school, co-curricular activities, family background, yadda yadda.

One of the interviewers asked me a rather fascinating question during my introduction. I told them how I used to play netball for the school team and he asked me, "Jadi, bagaimana kemahiran bola jaring anda dapat dikaitkan dengan sistem undang-undang negara?" (So, how can your netball skills be related to the country's legal system?)

Ay yay yay! Say whaaatttt?!

So I drew them the similarities between netball and the legal system like how both of them had their own set of rules, structures and systems to adhere to. Mhhm, something like that. Then they asked the typical questions of why do you choose to study this and why this country? I applied for Law and United Kingdom as my choice of country.

Our topic of discussion was 'Vision 2020'. Heeshh ini topik zaman sekolah rendah. But okay, it was rather interesting when they asked how our various fields can contribute to the aspiration. One guy who applied for automotive engineering (if I wasn't mistaken) wanted to build cars that could fly by year 2020. And one of the interviewers retorted, "The roads are already congested and now you want to congest the air space too?"

Ohh, how snarky! Hehe.

One simple rule of the interview; answer in Bahasa when asked in Bahasa and answer in English when asked in English. Having the ability to switch between those two languages without a glitch would be a plus point. And also know perfectly well why you want to study what you applied for and know your field relatively well, too.

There was one of us who wasn't too sure which field she wanted and why and that was when she got lambasted by the interviewers. They were like, "The government is going to spend a lot of money on you if you do get this scholarship so you have to tell us exactly why you want to do this. We can't afford for you to study halfway and then wanting to change course or drop out of it."

So yes, do be careful with that.

For my interview panel, they were fond of asking who are the ministers of Malaysia. Like who is the minister of Science, Technology and Innovation, the Second Finance Minister etc. Most of us kantoi that part la. Like this one:

Interviewer: Siapa Menteri Pendidikan sekarang ini?(Who is the current Minister of Education?)

*I put up my hand*

Me: Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin.

Interviewer: Betul ke? Bukan dia Timbalan Perdana Menteri? (Really? Isn't he the Deputy Prime Minister?)

Me: Ya itu betul juga. Dia memegang dua jawatan. (Yea that's true too. He holds two positions)

Interviewer: Pasti? Bukan Datuk Seri Hishamuddin Hussien? (Sure? Isn't it Datuk Seri Hishamuddin Hussien?)

Me: Itu Menteri Pendidikan yang lama (That's the old Minister of Education)

Interviewer: Dia sekarang jadi menteri apa? (Which minister is he now?)

Me: Umm...Menteri Keselamatan Dalam Negeri? (Umm...Minister of Internal Security?)

Interviewer: Untuk pengetahuan awak, Kementerian Keselamatan Dalam Negari sudah dimansuhkan dan digantikan dengan Kementerian Dalam Negeri.

And I was like okaaayyyy. Last time I checked, this particular ministry had its name changed with every new election or something like that. Kementerian Hal Ehwal Dalam Negeri to Kementerian Dalam Negeri dan Keadilan to Kementerian Keselamatan Dalam Negeri to Kementerian Dalam Negeri.

How to keep up like that?! =/

But I had fun during the interview. The interviewers were pleasant people. They just wanted to know whether do you really deserve the scholarship or not despite the interview being only 5% out of the whole thing.

You know what's the most important thing during the interview? Be in your own skin! That always works :)

PNB Scholarship Test

2010-03-31T23:57:00.000+08:00

I got my first scholarship call-up 2 days ago from Permodalan Nasional Berhad (PNB). PNB's style is that you sit for a special test first and based on your test score (and other factors too, so I've been told) they'll call you up for an interview and they will decide from there whether to grant you the scholarship or not.

So, today I had to sit for the test at its office, Menara PNB in KL and truth be told, I didn't know what to expect. From what I saw today, there were about 40 of us for the afternoon slot and I would say 80% of those who came today were previously from boarding schools. MCKK, Kolej Yayasan Saad, the Science schools etc. There were only a handful of us from daily schools if I wasn't mistaken.

Anyway, the test was 60 minutes long as it was divided into 3 sections. The first one was Verbal test. They gave us different passages and we had to answer True, False or Cannot Say statements based on those passages. 30 questions within 20 minutes.

Next was the Interpreting Data test. 18 questions were to be completed within 20 minutes. Most of the questions asked involved maths and were economics-related. Like how they asked us to calculate the turnover profit, the capital growth, the average sales yadda yadda. It can be a little tricky at times. Dah la I suck at maths. Hmmphh.

The last part was the Diagrammatical Series, the one you usually get in IQ tests. That one was okay, I guess. 40 questions in 20 minutes. A little bit confusing after awhile but still manageable.

Overall, I wouldn't say the test was easy but it was still doable. I've been out of practice for like 3 months ever since SPM ended so that didn't make it any easier either. Next would be the interview and only selected candidates from the test sessions will be called upon. That'll be within the next one month.

I don't know if I'll make it through or not. I heard the deal is pretty good. They'll send you for A-level in KYUEM and if you do really well in your exams, you'll be sent off to top universities in Australia, United Kingdom or United States. With 1000 pounds a month as your allowance, that is if you're studying in the UK, I presume. That's kinda...wow!

But I'm keeping this in mind; if I do get it, alhamdulillah, good for me. A great chance for me to further myself in life. And if I don't get it, perhaps my rezeki is elsewhere, just not here. At least this has been a pretty interesting experience.

So, whatever comes, comes. Whatever goes, goes.

Next up, JPA interview on the 8th of April. Another learning experience. Amin.

Gone with death

2010-03-24T16:55:00.000+08:00

This was taken from my private blog. This was supposed to be private but something inside me wanted to share it on here.

Pardon the mixed languages. This is how I write on there.

Two days ago, the son of the Media Prima group editor, Datuk Manja who happened to be my dad's BFF died in a car accident near his house in Subang Jaya.

Ikhwanul Ashraf. He was 18 years old. Sama umur dengan kita. Baru habis SPM and all.

Imagine how fast life can change for us. Last Sunday, dia baru masuk A levels kat Taylors College. Life was just beginning to start for him. And then 2 nights ago, he went to mamak to watch a football game at 3am with his friends. Balik lepas tu, he was driving and his car hit a kerb. Ashraf was hurled out of the vehicle and was killed on the spot.

I wasn't close to him but our parents have been friends for years. I think I've seen him once or twice dekat open houses or family-friends gatherings kot. I don't remember what he was like but I'm sure he was a nice kid.

It's really sad. Imagine the so many possibilities he could have gone through but yet, his life ended a little too soon. 18 is too young of an age to go away like that.

Kepada kawan-kawanku yang disayangi, please oh please drive carefully when you're on the road. Fadzil especially. Kau drive paling banyak di antara all of us kot. So please take care of yourself and of those in your car while you're driving. The rest pun macam tu.

There's no need to rush kalau hidup kita sendiri jadi mangsa nanti.

Al-fatihah to Ashraf.

You can read his blog here. Apparently he was a good singer and guitarist too.

Such a talent is lost. It's sorrowful when you Google his name, most of the results come up like this 'Anak Bongsu Datuk Manja Ismail Maut Kemalangan' in most of the newspapers and online news. I'm not sure that's how most of us want to be remembered. But oh well...

May Allah rests his soul. And hopefully, Uncle Manja's family would be alright despite what happened.

SPM Results

2010-03-12T13:11:00.000+08:00

So I got my straight string of As for SPM. Alhamdulillah. Surprised or not surprised, I don't know. All I know is it's such a relief to know that this is all over and that I can move on to the next phase of my life with a light feeling.

My parents were more anxious than me about the results, if that's even possible. Ibu was already texting Puan Sharon early in the morning, asking her what time will the results be released and if it's possible for her to check on my results. I was like, "Noooooo! I don't want to know before I'm supposed to. Let the suspense be."

And Papa, well he took a leave from work (so did Ibu, actually) and came to school with me. He was practically in tears when I told him I got my 10As and showed him the slip. Ibu and Papa even bought me a big bouquet of carnations as a congratulations gesture. Not much of a flower lover but still, thank you, you two!

This is for the two of you, too. For providing the means for me to work on. The endless list of books and tuitions to be paid for, the amount of encouragement given everytime I bawled my eyes out because I was so scared of SPM and everything that had to do with it and the immense faith you had in me, believing that I could make it through even when I had doubts in myself.

For that, I, thank you. I love you, too :))

But I have a long, long way to go from here. This is just a beginning of a long journey. I am still figuring out where to go next. A few rough ideas but right now, I'm just doing all the necessary things that need to be done, i.e. 'scholarship hunting.' It's a lot more work than I thought.

Congratulations, too, to the rest on your results! Regardless of what they are. I'm sure we got what we worked and prayed for. One way or another.

Life still continues. Today is already a new day, is it not? <3

SPM Results Jitters!

2010-03-05T00:00:00.000+08:00

So it has been reported that SPM 2009 results will be released next Thursday, 11th of March 2010. My stomach has been churning ever since I knew of that news.

Funny how paranoid and jittery we can be when the results day is nearing. I've had a few nightmares of my own already. Few nights back I dreamed I only got 2 As for my SPM. Imagine that! And to add insult to injury, my dad also had his own nightmare. I happened to get zero for my Add Maths paper in his dream. Talk about being even more spooked! Hah.

It's hard to believe that all those 11 years of formal education boil down to this one result, the last month of madness. Those years of studying (or not studying) culminate into the 9 or 10 or more subjects you took for SPM. What you did in the examination hall in that one month will more or less make or break your future and determine the road you're taking next.

But what if a slight misreading of a passage or question were to amount to a huge mistake, one which you didn't realize until it was too late? What if even after months of memorising and hard practice, some facts of the answers just slipped out of your mind while you were doing the questions? What if, what if and what if?

With one week to go before my results are being known, there's nothing else I can do other than tawakal and pray for the best. Really. I've already discussed my post-SPM life with my parents and we've decided that we're not gonna limit our options to anything. Which means, if I do come across a roadblock ahead, I would have no qualms turning around and taking another road, no matter how unfavourable it may seem. As long as it'll take me where I want to be.

IF I can't score a good scholarship anywhere else (even with the Bumi quota. Hehe), then the next biggest possibility for me is to read Law in IIUM. It has the best Law Faculty in the nation. So, why not eh?

You might be seeing me in a tudung sometime soon then ;)

Oh, and good luck for your results! God-willing, we'll get what we worked and prayed for.

#TANDA

2010-03-01T00:51:00.000+08:00

Been awhile since I last watched a local Malay theater. The last one was Puteri Gunung Ledang which was really good. Broadway standards.

And I managed to catch another one on Sunday, TANDA at PJLA with the awesome Wai Meng who was kind enough to teman me (thank you!). Basically, the play was a collaboration of six young directors on the theme environmental and natural destruction. I thought it was pretty good for a local scene. The actors went all out with their performances and you can see they had invested a lot in it, physically, emotionally and financially.

There were some flaws too, of course. Some of the issues potrayed were not clearly ironed out. Like the issue on different Gods and faiths and the doubts that came along with it. They should have delved into it deeper and not leave such a big hole in the questions that were being raised.

Anyhow, the main and only reason why I was so hard up about going to this play was because of this guy;

Zahiril Adzim

You see, for some unexplained reason, I find him charming, deep and soulful. Waahh macam aku kenal je dia ni. But yes, he's the only local male actor that I go ga-ga over. And so, a little dream came true today when I managed to catch him after the show.

Me: Hello. Hebat lakonan awak tadi. (Hello. Your acting was superb earlier on.)

Zahiril: Ohh terima kasih. Terima kasih juga kerana sudi datang. (Ohh thank you. Thank you for coming, too.)

Me: Saya selalu juga baca blog awak. Very deep la your thoughts. Baguslah. (I always read your blog. Your thoughts are very deep. That's good.)

Zahiril: Ya, saya jadikan blog tu tempat nak meluahkan pendapat dan perasaan yang ada. Kadang-kadang gembira. Kadang-kadang marah. (Yes, I make the blog as my place to express my opinions and feelings. Sometimes happy thoughts Sometimes angry.)

*drools over him while listening to him chatter away*

Me: Oh okay. Sekarang boleh ambil gambar tak? (Oh okay. Can we take a picture now?)?)

*pointing towards poor Wai Meng who's ready with the camera*

Wai Meng: Tak clear la. Another one. (It's not clear. Another one)

That's better :)

And there you have a very happy, sweet looking me afterwards for I have finally met my soulmate. Ehh I mean, Zahiril Adzim. Oppss!

Some photos from the play. Grabbed from 'si dia'.

She who is gone....for now

2010-02-23T22:36:00.000+08:00

My 76-year-old maternal grandma, Wan has been diagnosed with critical renal failure recently and we decided it was best for her to move in with my family so we could look after her better as opposed to her staying all alone in Raub.

Seeing as how I just finished my SPM 2 months ago and happened to be the most free one among all of us, I was given the unduly task to take care of her medications (19 tablets a day, round the clock!), do her weekly injections, bathe her at times, keep her company on nights when she feels scared, change her nightly diapers and monitor her high blood pressure.

At first I was kinda annoyed of having to do all these. Because hellooo, I'm a 17-year-old girl who just finished her SPM. I should be enjoying my freedom, going out with friends, get a job etc. But instead I'd been set to curfews, lesser play time and had to take care of my ailing grandma. Imagine my resentment of being put in such a situation.

But as time passed, I learned to embrace the circumstance. I mean, just how long more does she have to live? Might as well do the most for her while I still can. She told me numerous times that she would be helpless if I wasn't around her because I'm the one who knows what time she has to take her Bumetanide pills and how to inject Recormon into her stomach and which adult diapers she wears and how to operate that blood pressure machine for her.

That's when I knew all my nursing wasn't for nothing and that at least I'm doing something right. Though I gotta admit, I still complain about it sometimes (sorry, can't help it!).

And recently, she was admitted into HUKM for high blood pressure, low sodium content and whatever else that was related to renal failure. She's still in there. Unfortunately, she's not getting any better. She slowly slipped into her own shell, traumatized of having to go through the whole haemodialysis process. It's not easy.

She's no longer the Wan that chatters non-stop about everyone and everything else. The strong woman who has gone through years of hardship while taking care of 8 daughters on her own (my grandpa died 20 or so years ago) is slowly fading away. Her constant advice to me to always perform my prayers and to take care of myself has quietened down.

All I see now is a delirious woman who is wrapped in her own world. When I first saw her in her state of delirium few nights back, I couldn't help but cry by her bedside. She isn't the Wan that I've been taking care of for the last 2 months. And definitely not the Wan that I grew up knowing and loving. She has lost touch with her reality.

Is this what we will become one day? I pray to God, no.

And I pray the old Wan will return before it's too late. Insyaallah.

Frozen in Memories

2010-02-12T14:52:00.001+08:00

As our eyes sweep over the picture and as it holds the strings in our hearts, we expect each other to always be the people in that picture. But people change. Because people aren't pictures.

Yet, just because the vista is changing, the smiles and laughters are muted and the moment is frozen in time, doesn't mean you don't want to remember the way the light shines on one certain day for one specific moment.

Sometimes, that's all you're left with in the end....

Be right back

2010-01-31T17:30:00.000+08:00

I'll be gone for a week. To a land where the birds sing, the sun smiles and hearts don't break. Cheh, I wish!

I hardly think the land I'm going to has singing birds and smiling sun. And that last bit of hearts not breaking, err well that's hopelessly possible.

So don't expect an update on this blog anytime soon. For a week, at least. Or more. It's hard to scribble on here when you're not in the right state of mind.

Anyway, I'll be back soon. Hopefully.

And be good, peeps! :))

Of teaching and being taught

2010-01-21T15:22:00.000+08:00

I'm not in college yet. I'm not working at Starbucks or Topshop either. So what do I do with my free time?

Sleep, eat, sleep some more.

That, and also I've started teaching English (for free) at an orphanage near my home. I've never done any proper teaching before this so last night's class was a learning curve. For both me and the kids. The kids were about 9 to 11 years old.

Good thing mum was there too to help around. She's the one who does lecturing for a living so she should know better. We helped around with their homework and then did some story-telling sessions with them.

I would say their level of English isn't up to standard. Some of them have difficulty reading and writing in English. Some just have poor grammar and sentence structure. But at least they have the desire to learn and to know more.

Their eyes lit up in excitement when we sat and read the story books together. I read a paragraph and they followed suit with the same intonation I had. In between, they would ask all sorts of questions like "Why would King Midas need so many gold coins?" A few of them said, "If I had the kind of money like King Midas, I would donate it to poor people or an orphanage."

And that made me smile. Because then I know there's still hope for these kids. None of us were born with naturally good English. We learned along the way. I remember how sucky my English was when I was younger. Like I can't even speak a few sentences without having grammar mistakes here and there. Not to say it's great or perfect now but I got better.

My mum always said that the best way you can improve your language is through exposure. Be it exposure to books, newspapers, TV or daily conversations. And that is what these kids are lacking over here. They have the potential and the brains, just that they are not fully exposed to the English language.

I have a couple of months to work on these kids. Before I finally decide what is it that I want to do next, studies wise.

But for now, like what I tell everyone who asks me what it's like to do all these charity work, life has a new purpose now.

And it's for a whole new reason =)

For Entertainment Purposes Only

2010-01-20T16:00:00.000+08:00

I was browsing through Facebook photos from last Raya. This was from Mimi's open house. And look what I found.

From the album:
"The Ibrahim's" by Fadzil Safuan

Added September 25, 2009 · Comment ·

Nadia Tiziana, Nurul Syamimi Ibrahim and Nurul Sofia like this.

Nurul Sofia

HAHAHAHAHA i LOVE THIS PICTURE

September 27, 2009 at 12:49am · Report

Nik Nor Zafirah

hahaha fcuk! noooo

September 27, 2009 at 12:51am · Report

Nurul Syamimi Ibrahim
HAHAHAHAH yeahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! pricelesss gambar harga berjutaaa..

September 27, 2009 at 2:31am · Report

Nurul Sofia

muka takut mercun ni.hahahaha
betullahh! pricelessssssss!

September 27, 2009 at 2:35am · Report

Nik Nor Zafirah

daammnnn you can see how paranoid i was dengar bunyi mercun tu. i mean seriously la, dah la buntot hampir terbakar. heh

September 27, 2009 at 12:46pm · Report

Yes, my butts almost got attacked by a rocket firecracker (mercun roket). Bad aim, they had. And I was never fond of these firecrackers so that explains my face from above.

But those were good times, too :)

Aku penat

2010-01-13T15:56:00.000+08:00

Tiba-tiba hari ini terasa mahu menulis dalam Bahasa Malaysia. My first BM post.

Aku penat.

Tatkala rakan-rakan yang lain sibuk pergi hari orientasi pertama mereka di kolej, aku masih di sini, termangu-mangu ke mana arah tujuan aku seterusnya. Ada peluang ke HELP University College dengan bayaran hampir separuh aku lepaskan. Ada tawaran masuk ke KYUEM untuk Januari aku lepaskan juga. Apa yang aku ada sekarang hanya diri dan masa, sambil mencongak apa lagi yang nak dilakukan. Nasib baik ada juga kerja dekat MERCY Malaysia. Kalau tak, dah lama mati kutu di rumah.

Aku penat.

Tatkala negara kecoh dengan penggunaan kalimah Allah dalam penerbitan majalah Kristian dan pembakaran/pengeboman gereja-gereja Kristian, aku masih di sini, terkilan melihat apa yang sudah terjadi pada negaraku. Ahli politik pada mulanya bukan main lagi menjunjung tinggi konsep 1Malaysia dan bila ini berlaku, merekalah yang paling cepat melatah, menyemarakkan lagi api yang sudah membara. Kadang-kadang aku tertanya, mereka ingat ini pentas lakonan di mana mereka boleh berkelakuan sebegini rupa ya? Entah la.

Aku penat.

Tatkala hidup ini dipenuhi bermacam-macam jenis manusia, yang baik dan yang jahat. Ada juga terselit satu dua muka bangsat yang dekat dengan aku. Tak tahu lagi yang mana ikhlas atau yang bermuka-muka. Semua nampak macam sama. Kalau nak berkata lebih di sini, nanti ada pula yang cepat melatah dan terasa hati. Ahh, biarkan mereka dan kebangsatan mereka!

Kerana aku sudah penat.

Penat memikirkan apa yang nak dilakukan selepas ini.

Penat melihat negara tunggang terbalik.

Penat menghadap manusia yang berbagai jenis ragamnya.

Aku penat.

Facebook: No Entry!

2010-01-07T16:32:00.000+08:00

I've been depressed for over a week.

But why?!

Because everytime I try to log in to Facebook, this is what I get:

"Incorrect Email/Password Combination"

Even though I've typed in the right email and password 3000 times. And I can't seem to reset the password either because it says my email is invalid.

&%$%#@&!!!!

This can't be the case of account hacking, can it? Since my profile seems perfectly alright. I guess I can make another account but the idea of re-adding 588 friends and re-uploading/re-tagging 302 photos is daunting.

And depressing, too. Heh :(

Welcome 2010

2010-01-01T17:40:00.000+08:00

Hello! It's a brand new year, isn't it? Well, usually I would do a recap of the year like what I did here and here but not this year. Not in the mood, I guess.

Which is highly unusual but gaahh when you're not in the element, you're not. Period.

And no, I don't have any New Year resolutions either. Not this year.

If any, it would be to sound more politically incorrect on here because Andrew commented the other day on how politically correct I always sound on the blog. Though that needs a lot of working on.

Cheers to the New Year and another chance for us to do wrong and get it right.

Au revoir, Anis Sofia!

2009-12-28T00:40:00.000+08:00

Dear Anis Sofia,

You're probably still on your plane while I'm writing this but I'm gonna jot down whatever I can now. So it happens you're one of the first among us who are leaving and going on your own way. Even if it's just for 6 months, it's still something. And it's all the way in Paris. That's even more of something.

And after 5 years of friendship, Anis, I couldn't say I wouldn't miss you. Oh yes, I would miss you terribly. Remember those funny moments we had when we were a tad younger say 13 or 14? When you *ahem* at the back of the bus, when we crashed at Hanna's house regularly before school and laughed like maniacs at your silly jokes. Ohh remember when we were crying at Hanna's dining table with Nunu and Alia because....okay I can't remember the reason but we did cry like babies.

I knew love existed but I never knew 'crazy love' existed until I saw you and Zharif. How you talked fondly of him non-stop even though he's like 100000 miles away from you, how you imagined your marriage to him although baru habis SPM, how you always included him in everything you did even if he wasn't physically there and the way you guys managed to talk on Skype for like 5 straight hours at 3am and not get bored, that just blew me away. It's crazy but it's probably real love for the both of you. Aaawww!

Admittedly, we're not as close now as we were when we first knew each other. Probably because of our tight schedules, SPM and everything else in between. But the thing I felt about us was that, everytime we got together again after a long hiatus, the bond was always felt and we would get back to our regular selves as if we were never apart. That's one thing I loved about us.

So Anis, take good care of yourself when you're in Paris. Mu jangan galok sangat kat sana weyh. Learn the French language and the culture but don't turn yourself into one. You're awesome as you are.

I'll see you in Italy in April and we'll go skiing with Zharif ok? Hehe *inside joke* ;)

Au revoir!

Sincerely,
Zaffy

This was when we were 14, maybe? Zaman muda-muda. Haha.

The guy that spins her world round and round, Zharif

One of the last few days of school

Nanisia + Zaffy

Post-prom. Rasta!

Our last dinner before you were leaving

In heels and pumps

MERCYful Day

2009-12-24T00:38:00.000+08:00

I mentioned on a previous post that I planned to be a volunteer with an NGO, preferably MERCY Malaysia. And so, I made my way to MERCY's headquarters today in KL with Nunu and we started the day as nervous volunteers who were as blank as the paper, not knowing what to expect.

As newbies, there wasn't much for us to do so our task for the day was to help the Finance Department calculate the donation money they received from the public. And the money came from all over the world; US, Thailand, China, Peru, Australia, Ecuador, you name it, they had it. So, we had to separate the money according to currencies and calculate the total value before passing them to the big boss of the department.

Mind you, it wasn't such a simple task. The coins in particular were very confusing. Some looked very alike, others had very small numbers on them that it was hard to see the value of the coins. I found some of the notes to be no better than used baby wipes. Let's not talk about the smell. My hands felt literally itchy after handling those notes. Had to use hand sanitizer to clean my hands.

But I would say it was a rather interesting experience. Nunu and I felt like grown ups today. Walking along the busy streets of KL all on our own, sitting in an office full of adults, getting our lunch while surrounded with men and women in their working attires, took our own LRT home.

We caught a glimpse of the adult world and well, though it can be exciting, what with having to live your own life and all, I know it's not all sugar and spice. When we were sitting in the restaurant, I could hear snippets of their conversations, on how they wanted to stimulate the market growth, or how this chemical engineer was trying to convince this other man to get into a business deal with him.

And there was me and Nunu too, sitting and grumbling on how smelly the Indian Rupee money was. Oh yes, we were just a small, small fish in a big, big pond.

But I'm looking forward to explore what's inside the big, big pond soon.

Photos from today. Grabbed from Nunu.

Blowing bubbles away before we started our work

Welcome to MERCY Malaysia

The smelly Rupee notes. Oh yes. The lady warned me to wash my hands after handling those notes.

Nunu got excited looking at those money. Mata duitan tu. Haha.

And I'm 10 Hong Kong Dollars richer ;)

We stopped by Central Market after work. I couldn't help taking photos like a tourist.

We even tried the fish foot spa. Damn, it was so ticklish and we were laughing like maniacs. Of course, that also came with perplexed stares from the Mat Salleh tourists.

What Happens In Vegas

2009-12-18T01:21:00.000+08:00

We all had a night in Vegas last night.

Well okay, not exactly. DJ had its Senior Prom at Ritz Carlton, KL and the theme was 'A Night In Vegas'. Though truth be told, there wasn't anything Vegas-y 'bout the night.

Overall, prom wasn't all that bad. I mean, it wasn't the best one but it wasn't a total failure either. I think it doesn't matter where the prom is, what do you wear and all that jazz as long as you are in company of great friends and some cool music.

So, I guess this is just it. SPM's over. So is prom. That was probably our last time meeting up with most of the peeps from school before we venture into our own roads. It's hard not to find all this a little bittersweet.

But we did end the night and the journey in style and with such glitz. Some photos from the night.

Plenty more on Facebook, of course.

Kaki Dilemma performing

All dressed up for the night

The guys working it out on the dance floor

Ladies in black, Anis and Hanna with the purple one, me

With Mimi, Nunu and the boyfie, Harith Hisyam

Our Prom Queen! With her ever so sweet boyfie, Harith Hazran

My prom date for the night, Syamir. Thanks for the corsage! :)

With Jo-Yi and Ying Yan. Pretty pretty girls

Oooh! I love Hanna's Guess clutch. Suits my purple dress. Bisa tu. Haha =p

With Rauf and Rohaizi. Most of the guys looked really handsome and neat in their suits.

Saiful. Nice suit there!

Shiqin! I'm gonna miss our gossip sessions and inside jokes

The Other Me

2009-12-12T12:28:00.001+08:00

People have asked me what is my private blog all about and can they get invited to read it. And to those who haven't noticed, on the left side of this blog, under the 'Links' section, notice the blog name 'The Other Me'? Well, that's the place where I rant, curse, laugh, cry and ponder, away from the outside world.

And today, I decided to give you a little sneak peek of 'The Other Me'. Hehe. Above, is the list of topics that I normally blog about on there. The 'Happy' section is where I get all jumpy and excited about things or people I encounter. If you just made my day bad, I'd lash out on you under the 'Anger' section. Oh yes, a whole lotta cursings on there. None of them are censored ;)

The second most blogged about topic on my blog is someone from my life. As you can see, I've blackened out that part because he/she doesn't know that I've been writing about him/her on there. Sometimes I speak fondly of him/her. Other days, I just cursed the hell out of him/her. 37 posts on a single person. That's quite a lot, no? Haha.

Currently, there are only 10 people on the readers' list. And they are those whom I can trust. Because what I write on there is so controversial and offensive at times that I might be hurting a lot of people's feelings. But that's exactly the reason why I put it on private. Because each of us needs an outlet to vent out our anger and emotions. This is mine.

And no, I won't be adding any more people to the readers' list. Not now. Unless of course, one day I become someone famous, have a contest for my fans and the winner gets an 'all-access' pass to my blog. Haha yea.

A little preview on the writings. This one came under the 'Letting Go' section.

"He said it might sound like some shit excuse but it is what it is. And I think I understand that now and get why he did what he did these past few weeks. Because like everyone else, he has some shit to deal with and it's not easy. After what happened too, I realized it really helps if people understand your situation. Doesn't mean you have to constantly be beside that someone but at least try not to give you more shit in return.

So I said I'm okay now because I'm letting go and understanding what has happened recently. Things are rough these days and the more we hold on to them, the harder they'll get. So, yes whatever. Let go and it'll be okay :) "

On a heavier note, this one came under the 'Anger' section. Some of the words here are not pleasant. You've been warned.

"I'm sick of you already. Yes, YOU. Somebody has to learn that the world doesn't centre around that somebody. That other people have other issues to deal with. That you're not the only one with stories.

Here we go again. I'll fuck off now if that will make you feel better.

Because the fucking world centres around you and that everything has to do with you kan?"

Uh huh, so now you know why the blog is on private mode.

Remembering Nostalgia

2009-12-11T15:14:00.000+08:00

Most of the Form 5s or shall I say ex-Form 5s have gotten their copy of Nostalgia '09 on the last day of exams. And there were mixed reviews of it, like every school magazine would have. Some thought the magazine is so much better than last year's, the designs and photos are even more snazzy and the content is more mature.

Though there are, of course, some disgruntled voices too. The magazine cover is not classy enough and has no 'real feelings'. It's too thin. And this must be the best comment I heard so far, "Nostalgia's name should be changed to the `Nostalgia Board and Friends Exclusive Magazine` cause...its just them..and their friends." Haha.

Not many people know what happened behind the scenes of the magazine-making. How much effort and time the editorial board spent on getting the magazine together. This year, we handled everything on our own. From the photoshoots to the photo printing and distributing to the page arrangements, down to the last detail.

Those of you who are (or who were) close to me would know how rough the whole Nostalgia thing was. Oh yes, it wasn't smooth-sailing at all. But the fact remains that a magazine is a teamwork product and I can confidently say to you, the team have worked their asses off in making sure we present to you the best Nostalgia magazine we can.

As for the content, I believe it reflects our maturity as members of the school. A school that is already 26 years old. The photos and designs, well, you would be blind if you think they aren't pretty and classy. The Art and Photography Dept used professional magazines like Reader's Digest, Nat Geo etc as their references so you can imagine how cool Nostalgia looks like.

I don't know, maybe my opinions on Nostalgia are biased and one-sided. But don't blame me as I have worn the shoes for far too long. Even if you ask me to step out of it and look at the magazine on a different view, I can still feel the soles of the shoes on my feet. And I feel no matter what people say about Nostalgia, good or bad, I'd be okay.

Because I'm like the mother who loves her retarded, abnormal child :))

A section of the 'revolutionised' Nostalgia. Grabbed from our Art Director, Yung Tyng

SPM...The End.

2009-12-11T13:41:00.000+08:00

Eh, SPM's over? Oh yes! Well, I just finished mine today. Tasawwur Islam. Two days later than most Pure Science students. And heck, what a journey it was.

So, how was SPM? I thought it was pretty alright. Haha yea, I can't give you a more cliched reply. But perhaps, we underestimated the standard of SPM in some parts of the exams. I'm just praying and crossing my fingers for a full string of As. Whether it's the +ve, -ve or just an A, well that has yet to be determined.

Anyhow, it's time to move on with life now! I've not planned anything solid, long-term wise. But a good break is really what I need now. And so, I have a list of things that I need to do in the next few days and weeks to come.

1. EXERCISE! I gained around 3kgs the last 2 months. Those long hours of studying made me one heck of a hungry girl.

2. Prom shopping and prom itself. 16th of December at Ritz Carlton. Oh la la.

3. A good spa treatment and body massage (ibu dearest, I hope you're reading this. Hehe)

4. Catch up with buddies and patch things up with a few of them. These last 4 weeks somehow, strained some of our relationships.

5. Do a major clean up and make-over of my bedroom. It's such a mess. Books and papers everywhere. I'll get rid of them....soon. I hope.

6. Do some charity work or join an NGO. Yes, I'm planning to be a good girl and spend some of my free time giving back to the community. Thinking of MERCY Malaysia or some youth group.

7. Get my driving license.

8. Work on a 'Top Secret Project'. I've been thinking of this for awhile. What is it? Hehe, I'll let you know IF and when the thing works out :)

Enjoy your post-SPM life! This is just the beginning.

Farewell to you, DJ

2009-11-15T01:53:00.000+08:00

Friday the 13th.

We bid our farewells to friends and teachers, said sorry and thank you for all the things that have been done or have not been done for the past 5 years.

So this is it. The curtain is closing down. The end is near. It's time to open up a new chapter. Though there are tears here and there (psstt Hanna hehe), I think most of us are pretty ecstatic to get SPM over and done with and leave DJ to embark on our own journeys.

I love DJ but after 5 years of my life spent there, it's definitely time to chase after something bigger and better outside. So nope, I'm not weeping or feeling despair with this farewell so I'll be leaving DJ with a heavyheart but with a high tone of excitement and elation of what lays ahead of me. Oohh you can already feel the buzz! =)

Most of the photos from Friday have not been uploaded yet. 'Cameramen' sibuk belajar, no time to upload photos. Heh.

But here are some photos from school taken a few months back and from Friday (thanks Nadia!). Any further blogging shall resume after SPM and I'll see you all after the 10th of December.

Good luck and goodbye! :)

Pretty ladies on the staircase

5 Angsana peeps. I heart you all <3

With Rach. Taken after our Nostalgia photoshoot. I'll miss you girl!

Oh we crazy people :)

Letting Go

2009-10-31T01:14:00.000+08:00

It's 30th of October today. And by today I should have made my decision on whether or not to accept the HELP SASA Scholarship.

And I decided to let it go.

It wasn't an easy decision to make. Partly because of the uncertainty of the future and also the doubts of what will come my way. At least if I held on to this, my A-levels education is pretty much secured, half-way.

But I decided not to take the scholarship because firstly, I'm not even sure if HELP College is where I want to spend my next 1 and 1/2 years at and the idea of having my future pre-determined while I'm still going through my present doesn't settle too comfortably with me. Also, I'm looking out for better options and chances post-SPM so I wouldn't want to tie myself too early to something like this if there is indeed, something better for me out there.

With the year coming to an end, with my high school life reaching its final chapter and with everything else that has happened in between, there's a lot of letting-gos to do. It's not easy but it has to be done.

And God-willing, this is the right thing to let go off.

Sometimes, she's a fighter

2009-10-21T15:43:00.000+08:00

She walked into the battlefield, determined to fight this war until she saw the end of it. Not because she had to. But because she wanted to. They deserved what was supposed to be given to them. And to take that away from them for some lame excuse, it's unjust and unacceptable.

And so she fought. Not with physical strength or metal swords. But with words and rationality. On what was the best thing to do as opposed to what fit her alone. Because she stood true to her ground, that 'she is a fighter and she fights for what she wants.'

As a mutual agreement had been reached, she walked away, a certain feeling of satisfaction and amour-propre took over her.

The fighter got what she wanted, finally.

Wholesome Saturday

2009-10-10T23:52:00.000+08:00

Oh today was a full day. And for the first time in a long time, it wasn't about books and studying!

Had breakfast with Kamel, my mum's friend who's here from the States for her Raya break. And her sister, a strong force behind Tree Theatre Group, a youth NGO focusing on environmental issues was there too. I've seen them in action before, performing self-written songs about the Earth in Bangsar somewhere around this year and I was highly impressed by this group of young, talented teens.

So of course I was deeply honoured when Kak Lin enthusiastically offered me to join the group after my SPM. They'll be having an Eco Arts Festival in Melaka at the end of the year so that's where I'll be heading to when I'm done with SPM. Uh-huh I can barely wait! :)

Next on the agenda was the award ceremony for School Achiever Scholarship Awards (SASA) recipients at HELP UC. The ceremony itself was alright and I'm still tossing the idea of whether to accept the scholarship or not. It's a generous offer but I can't help but wonder about better opportunities out there besides this. Come 30th October, I'll let you know on my decision ya?

Oh and today my dad turned 48 years old. Happy birthday, Papa! Went on a shopping spree in KLCC (birthday gift from mum) and then a simple dinner at Mandarin Oriental. He's a great dad and I love him loads for that =D

So, I ended my busy Saturday with an unfamiliar satisfied feeling. Satisfied that I already have something planned right after SPM. Satisfied that my future is pretty much secured for now if I do accept the scholarship. Satisfied that I'm blessed with such great parents though there are times when they do get at each other's throats. Ahh, married life. You know what's that like.

Above all, Alhamdullilah.

P/S I don't know why is it some of the sentences are underlined and some are not. Pardon =\

L to R: Luke, Calvin, Rachel and I at SASA award ceremony (photo courtesy of Luke)

Mum with Kamel's daughter. Aaww isn't she just adorable?

Lady Boss

Shopping with the birthday man

He can sometimes shop even longer than most women. Uh huh

Birthday song on saxophone

Happy 48th Birthday, Papa! =)

We love!

Photos!

2009-09-28T19:01:00.000+08:00

*Editted

The photos are here! From my Eid open house. Well not all though. Plenty more on Facebook.

Thank you Faiz, Fadzil and Rachel for the photos. Here are some.

We look very '1Malaysia' here. Tee-hee!

Playing host

With Faiz and Rauf

My favourite ladies, Soph and Rach

They have been cam-whoring with the Panda all day long. Poor him

Makan-makan

Keefe and Calvin in their singing elements

Enam perempuan dara. I heart this photo of us!

Putting on the 'vogue pose'. Hehe

Maaf Zahir dan Batin, Shiqin

Hanging out

Women in the mirror, me and Mimi

Mum's Nigerian students, Ahmad and Ismail

Guitarman strumming

That's us chit-chatting

September babies! Fadzil, Rauf, Syamir and Alia

Together-gether memotong birthday cake

A belated birthday gesture for Fadzil

Aaww comel!

Shiqin with her 'purdah' and Wai Meng in baju melayu. Don't they look good together? Haha =P

Uh-oh, imagine Wai Meng practising polygamy and having 4 wives

Oh Nunu! I still can't get over your smile in this photo. Lol

Rahman! My new chum =)

Hanging out at the park nearby

With love!

Friends, food, fun

2009-09-26T22:41:00.000+08:00

I just realized how awesome, talented, beautiful and fun my friends can be. Well I knew it before this. But today, it became clearer.

Had my Hari Raya open house and for those who know me well would know I prefer small, intimate affairs so pardon me if I couldn't invite more people to today's affair. But those who came, thank you and I love you!

We ate, sang, laughed, ate some more and we even had a discussion on syariah law and polygamy. That came from the nerdy debaters (haha kidding!). My mum invited 2 of her Nigerian students to join us for lunch. So, indeed it was a pretty colourful open house. Oh yes, we surprised the September babies with a birthday cake too. I hope the guys (Rauf, Fadzil and Syamir) and the girl (Alia) enjoyed the small gesture.

I loved it when we sat in a big group, with Keefe and Nunu sitting in the center, strumming their guitars while the rest of us sang along to the songs. It was so cool and at that moment, I felt blessed to be surrounded by these people whom I call as friends. Really and truly.

So thank you again to Faiz, Rauf, Nunu, Keefe, Alia, Wai Meng, Andrew, Daryl, Sophia, Fadzil, Shiqin, Calvin, Syamir, Rahman, Anis, Mimi, Rachel, Syira, Safwan, Naj, Ellya and Jabir for your wonderful presence.

Photos will be posted soon when I get them from the others =)

Raya oh raya!

2009-09-23T14:25:00.000+08:00

I'm home! And oh Raya was so fun! It was chaotic, colourful, loud and everything else in between.

So, this year we celebrated Raya with a few of my mum's students. Well I'm not sure if 8 would be counted as 'a few' but heck we all had an incredible time. We had boys from Afghanistan, Mozambique, Palestine, Yemen and Tajikistan (yes, there is such a country). The Afghans painted my house and cooked dinner for the whole lot of us on the eve of Eid. And the rest were brought back to Raub to have a taste of Malay culture and Eid celebration in the kampung.

We visited the kampung houses, the graveyards of my dead ancestors, played firecrackers all night long, went for a boat ride and a swim in the river and of course we stuffed ourselves silly with lemang, rendang, ketupat and what not. Seriously, there was food everywhere and I reached a point where my stomach couldn't take it anymore. Bleehh.

I need to detox myself after this and lose all the Raya fats. Ohh well.

Photos! :)

Our house painters for the day

And here we have our cooks for the day. They made some Afghan rice and salad. Sedap!

Maghrib prayers 'berjemaah'

The 'additional family' on the morning of Eid, at my paternal grandparents' home in Kota Damansara

The three of us looking good in baju raya :)

Ohh la la! 'Vogue pose' Hehe

Cousins

The whole lot of us

And on my mum's side in Raub

My aunties. They are fearless, patronizing and everything you can think of. In a good way, of course.

These cousins of mine who think they are tall, not-so-dark and handsome. Mehh =P

Minah main mercun. Haha

This is how kids these days smile for the camera

Prayers for those who have left us

Hasan from Mozambique trying to climb the wooden stairs of the kampung house

Benny, my aunty's pet. Imagine having this deer as your pet in your backyard

The river

The guys enjoying their boatride

Yes, me too

Swim, swim!

Raya's almost here!

2009-09-17T21:37:00.000+08:00

Oohh trials are practically over and Raya's almost here! It's a much needed break after the 5 long weeks of exams.

And this year, my family is hosting 8 foreign students from IIUM to celebrate Raya with us. Eight, imagine that! Hah. We'll have 8 on the eve of Raya and they will stay over our house. And we'll shoot to Raub, Pahang after lunch on the first day of Raya but we are only bringing back four of them then. Tak muat kereta la.

They're from Afghanistan, Africa and god-knows-where-else but I'm pretty sure it'll be as fun as last year's. My mum has already planned stuffs for them to do while they're here in KL on the eve of Raya. Some of them are gonna cook their traditional cuisines while others are gonna help paint our house. Domestic help much? Haha.

Oh yes, have a blessed, great Eid Mubarak everyone! May this Raya be a time for close family bonding and forgiveness.

From last Raya:

One of the traditional wooden houses we visited on the morning of Eid

The guys we brought back to Raub last year. (Left to right) Mahmoud from Palestine, Adnan from Bosnia, Swabry from Kenya and Ali from Central Africa