So, A-level results will be out this coming Monday. Am I nervous?
It's nerve-wrecking that all those 2 years in KY boil down to this one moment. Kinda like SPM but this is even more crucial. Imagine, 2 years of our lives which we will never get back, our future and where we will go for the next 3 to 4 years, RM400,000 worth of scholarship/parents money are at stake. All will be revealed this Monday.
I can't say much of my chances. Will I strike my straight As or will I walk away with less-than-impressive results? People keep telling me, "Ahh, I'm sure you'll make it!" or "You'll ace them la, no worries." or "Insyaallah, mesti dapat semua As kan". Very kind of them to say it and I think most of them sincerely meant what they said. But I've to be honest, the last 2 years have not been a walk in the park for me.
I never had a moment of surety where I could confidently say, "Yes, I'm gonna make it!" There is always a "But what if...?" echoing the thought right after. One thing I was sure of was that I definitely worked harder in my last year in KY. My AS results was the much-needed wake up call, calling me for a change in my game plan.
But I can't be sure if it was all enough, enough to guarantee me my scholarship and university place in Bristol. Which led me to think of 101 different back-up plans if I happen to miss my AAA mark. My parents have assured me they WILL send me to university this September. If not in the UK then perhaps a twinning programme somewhere locally first. I suggested a gap year so I could apply to the US but mehh, I'm already so old! It'll take me half a decade to get my undergraduate degree.
At this point of time, all I really want is to make my parents proud and at best, not to burden them in any way. But I think I've to accept that whatever happens after this is, it is by Allah's grace.
If I do meet my scholarship and university requirements then alhamdulillah, this is the path He wants me to walk on.
And if I don't meet the requirements then I'm sure Allah will lead me to another path. A detour or a different route but He will get me there, Insyaallah.
All the best for Monday, friends!